Dinner
and a Movie
An Evening with the Cleavers
An Evening with the Cleavers
By
Steve Herte
Over
the years I've been writing the Dinner and a Movie column, the most
frequent question I’ve gotten is, “Why do you write restaurant
reviews for a movie blog?"
My
answer is that I'm primarily a gastronome who loves movies. I feel
the column is a part of what makes Celluloid Club unique, and for
those that don't like unique, there are thousands of other blogs out
there without restaurant reviews.
I
love what I'm doing and enjoy my movie and dinner night. Sometimes
things go wrong; sometimes everything is perfect. It’s my
foray into the unknown. In this case, it was a director that drew me
to the film and a mostly unfamiliar menu that led me to the table.
Movies are my escape from harsh reality and dining out provides me
with an excuse to say whether or not I like a certain dish with
authority. And I cleave to these principles. Speaking of cleavers,
enjoy!
Crimson
Peak (Universal, 2015) – Director: Guillermo
del Toro. Writers: Guillermo del Toro and Matthew Robbins. Stars: Mia
Wasikowska, Jessica Chastain, Tom Hiddleston, Charlie Hunnam, Jim
Beaver, Burn Gorman, Leslie Hope, Doug Jones, Jonathan Hyde, Bruce
Gray, Emily Coutts, Alec Stockwell, Brigitte Robinson, Gillian
Ferrier, & Tamara Hope. Color, Rated R, 119 minutes.
“Ghosts
are real. This much I know.”
Edith Cushing.
It’s
1901 in Buffalo, New York. Edith Cushing (Wasikowska) is writing
ghost stories and trying to break into the man’s world of
authorship. Her editor doesn’t care if her story is good or not. He
believes that a woman should be writing love stories. He doesn’t
know that Edith writes from experience. Fourteen years prior, her
mother died and visited her as a creepy blackened ghost with long
claw-like fingers to warn her about avoiding “Crimson Peak.” As a
child, Edith had no idea what her mother meant, she was too busy
being terrified.
Her
father, Carter Cushing (Beaver) and her childhood friend, Dr. Alan
McMichael (Hunnam) both wonder why a young, pretty girl would rather
write books than go to parties. Alan’s mother, Mrs. McMichael
(Hope), along with all the society girls, chides her as being a “Mary
Shelley.” All the girls are abuzz about a newcomer to town: a
charming young Baronet from England who will be attending the latest
soirée.
But
Edith will have none of that and she stays home while her father and
Alan leave. It’s a rainy night. Her maid announces that a man is
here to see her, and he has been standing in the rain until her
father left the house. She reluctantly agrees to see him and, when
she meets Sir Thomas Sharpe (Hiddleston), there is immediately
something chemical between the two. He talks her into going to the
party and, if her arrival isn’t enough to set the gossipers
chattering, he demonstrates the waltz with her while holding a lit
candle. “If you dance the waltz properly, the flame never goes
out.” And it doesn’t.
Thomas’
sister, Lady Lucille Sharpe (Chastain) plays the piano while eying
her brother and Edith with a strange, predatory expression that
changes to condescension whenever she speaks with Edith. Edith
doesn’t notice any of this; she’s falling in love with Thomas.
Thomas,
an inventor as well as a baronet, has created a digging machine made
for mining the red clay near his home in Cumberland, England. He is
trying to get funding to perfect the machine and eventually sell it
to mining operations. He approaches Carter Cushing at a board meeting
with his proposal but Carter has already done his homework and found
that Edinburgh, Milan and Paris have already rejected the offer.
Also, Carter has taken an immediate dislike for Sir Thomas, deeming
him unfit for his daughter.
Edith’s
mother visits her a second time, repeating the warning about Crimson
Peak, but Edith is too frightened to take heed. (If my mother came
back looking like that and talking like Doug Jones – who plays all
the talking spirits in this movie – I would be frightened, too.)
Carter
writes a check to bribe Thomas and Lucille to return to England and
leave Edith brokenhearted. After a dinner party at the Cushing house
Thomas does exactly that, sending Edith in tears to her room.
But
this is a formula gothic horror film and we know Edith will follow
Thomas and marry him. Meanwhile, a mysterious stranger ambushes
Carter in the bathroom and bashes his head against a sink, killing
him (and breaking the corner off the porcelain sink). The verdict is
that he must have slipped and fell. (Repeatedly?)
Edith
is now a wealthy woman and free to join her new husband on a trip
back to England. Carter’s accountant, Ferguson (Gray) is taking
care of her monetary transfers while she rides in a carriage over the
blood-red clay to the enormous decaying hulk that is Allerdale Hall.
There is a hole in the roof over the main entryway and various
detritus (as well as snow) constantly rains through it. Edith is
still clueless when she steps on the floorboard and the gooey red
clay oozes out beneath her feet. The house itself is sinking into the
clay and makes grotesque breathing sounds as it does so.
There
is a cage-like elevator to get to the upper floors as well as
stairways and Thomas tells her never to go below this level. (But we
know it’s only a matter of time before she disregards this advice.)
Whenever she’s alone, Edith meets various blood-red apparitions
(must be the clay), including one that arises from a bathtub with the
cleaver still lodged in its skull and Thomas’ mother, Lady Sharp
(Doug Jones again). Only she can see them.
Back
in America, Alan hires private detective Holly (Gorman) to get
historic information on this Sir Thomas. Learning that other young
women in Edinburgh, Milan and Paris have been married to Thomas and
all have disappeared after a prolonged sickness due to poisoning, he
chases after Edith.
Edith
learns these same facts when she swipes a key engraved with the name
“Enola” from Lucille’s key ring and opens a steamer trunk she
found in the lower levels of Allerdale Hall. Shortly thereafter,
she’s ill and coughing up blood. When the snow falls and footprints
made in it show up bright red, Thomas confides that the townspeople
have dubbed Allerdale Hall “Crimson Peak” because the clay
underneath stains the snow red. (What townspeople? This house is all
alone out in the middle of nowhere.) You suddenly see the realization
in Edith’s eyes. She’s clueless no more.
Sounds
good right? Guillermo del Toro’s direction sets forth a classic
gothic horror tale in the beginning but it deteriorates into
slapstick comedy at the end. In the final face-off between the
white-gowned Edith and the almost black, blue-gowned Lucille is a
duel of cleaver and shovel. (Yes, it makes the satisfying ‘Wang’
sound when it comes down on Lucille’s head.) The entire audience
laughed. I did, too, but I also felt sorry for a good movie that has
gone bad. The special effects are well done, but many are familiar
from previous films. The best and most amazing things were the stage
sets. The house itself is incredibly over-ornamental. The corridors
have arches that appear to have teeth, as if you were passing through
a shark’s jaws. The music also was excellent, building and then
falling silent when something scary was about to happen. While the
film was chilling in parts, it couldn’t retain that mood. The
writing by del Toro and Matthew Robbins followed suit with the
visual, becoming comic at the end.
There
is plenty of gore for those who crave it and a couple of new ways to
make a kill, but no foul language (a definite plus). There’s a
ludicrous bed scene where Edith and Thomas consummate their marriage
that could have been alluded to and cut. Parents, take this to heart
if you’re planning to see it before it disappears like the artistry
at the beginning. Did I mention the great costumes? The only possible
award nomination.
Rating:
3½ out of 5 Martini glasses.
Calle
Dão
38
W. 39th St. (5th/6th Avenues), New
York
Cuban
restaurants are rare (this is only my fifth) and Cuban-Chinese
cuisine (my second) even rarer. Calle Dão means “Knife Street” –
half in Spanish, half in Chinese – and the symbol they use on their
entry sign is a cleaver. Seemed like a perfect segue from the movie I
just saw, especially with the crimson doorway and awning at the
entrance.
Inside,
it’s dimmer than Allerdale Hall. The walls, painted half a sea
green and half white on the right, have bare-topped tables lit only
by a single votive candle. The bar on the left glows from a golden
backlight behind shelves of bottles and is only dimly lit by swags
shaped like the headlights from a giant’s truck. Beyond an
ornamental wrought iron gate is the small main dining area, already
well populated by chattering people, while speakers blast out salsa
music.
The
young woman at the Captain’s Station noted my reservation and led
me to one of the single tables midway through the bar. I suddenly
felt like Ernest Hemmingway at Sloppy Louie’s in Key West. She left
me the two laminated cards, which were the food menu and the drinks
menu. With a little effort and positioning of the candle, I was able
to read both.
Anis,
my server, soon appeared and took my water preference and the same
girl arrived to pour it. When Anis returned, I ordered the
“Revolucion!” cocktail – a habanero-infused tequila and Ginger
Canton (a liqueur) concoction with absinthe, sweet corn kernels,
pineapple, agave and lemon. The red salt lining the martini style
glass was festive against the golden, spicy, fruity brew I sipped as
I read the food menu.
The
selections on the menu were simply grouped as Raw Bar (ceviches,
oysters and clams), Appetizers, Entrées, and Sides. I explained to
Anis that I was almost unfamiliar with most of the dishes on the
menu, but that I had a good appetite, was a slow eater, and wanted to
construct a three-course dinner. He agreed to let me know if I had
ordered too much food and that the dishes would be spaced according
to the time it took me to finish.
When
I gave Anis my choices he said plainly that I may have ordered “a
‘little” too much food, but I agreed to take home anything I
couldn’t eat and thanked him for his help. I was ready for
adventure with my choices, and they did not disappoint. Another
server brought me a basket of taro chips – thinly sliced taro root,
fried crisp and lightly salted – with a ramekin of dipping sauce.
I’ve had these before and loved them, and had to remember not to
consume the whole basketful before my meal.
The
first course, pig’s ears, sounds horrendous, but looks nothing like
its name. Think of Szechuan lamb. The meat was shredded, rice-floured
and fried crisp, then mounded on a plate and bathed in the sesame
chili sauce, garnished with sprigs of cilantro. The texture was
similar to a good calamari and the taste was spicy, sesame pork. It
was a hefty portion as well and I knew what Anis meant by a ‘little
too much food’.
When
I finished my cocktail I ordered the 2014 Malbec “Agua de Piedras”
Mendoza, Argentina, which complimented the pig’s ears perfectly. It
was surprising how such a young red could be so assertive.
I
have come to love empanadas and when I saw duck empanadas on the
menu, I knew I had to try them. Anis almost pooh-poohed this dish,
stating, “If you like duck.” He was enthusiastic over my other
choices, though. The three crescent-shaped pastries arrived
encircling a ramekin of ginger sauce. The pastry was crisp and tasty
and the duck inside shredded nicely, not too moist and not too dry;
just a little overly flavored with ginger. The manager came over to
my table at this point and I told her about it. I also complimented
the concept of merging Cuban and Chinese cuisines. The empanadas were
gone before I remembered to take a picture of them, as is my wont.
The
manager told me that Calle Dão has been doing business for a little
over a year and a half. She left my table pleased. In a little while
the main course arrived. It was another adventure. The spiced goat
neck, touted to have been rubbed with Calle Dão house spices, was on
a bed of baby bok choy, garnished with cilantro and sided with
tostones (deep fried plantain chips). The first taste of the goat
meat was spicy, but afterward the heat diminished, allowing the
natural gamy-sweet flavor of the goat to take over. Again, the
portion was respectably large, and the meat was surrounded a single
neck vertebra (yes I know what one looks like). The bok choy was
cooked well and still crunchy. It was the best goat I’ve ever had.
The manager passed by again and I raved about the dish to her.
I
was able to finish everything except the tostones and taro chips, and
I had Anis wrap them up to go home with me. It was dessert time. I
chose the newest dessert, the sesame panna cotta. It was as pure and
delicate as the finest blanc-mange, with blueberries
and sliced strawberries accompanying it in a light, sweet sauce. I
loved it, but the change in flavor volume from my previous dishes was
almost shocking. The manager, knowing it was a new dish, visited me
again. I told her of the delicacy of the dish and how it was such a
wild contrast to everything else. “Perhaps you will try our flan –
on the house?” I agreed. It’s not often I have two desserts.
The
flan, the traditional Spanish caramel custard, was served in a
spicy crema sauce with cracked peppercorns on top.
There was no doubt this dessert could stand up to the flavors of the
meal I just finished. My only comment was that the panna cotta was
creamier than the flan, which tasted grainier rather than smooth.
Still, it was amazing. A Café Cubano later I was satisfied.
Though
the menu was not large, it was rife with dishes foreign to my
experience. Helene always said she could never eat a dish called
“mofongo,” but there it was, in three different preparations. And
I’m not a vegetarian but there are two vegetarian dishes that are
intriguing: the pan-fried noodles which one can have with or without
your choice of meat, and the barley paella, with okra, grape
tomatoes, sunchoke, wild mushrooms, root vegetables and fermented
bean curd.
The
next time I visit to Calle Dão I think I’ll bring along a
flashlight.
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