Partying with The Muppets at Jack’s
By Steve Herte
This
day has been very different; for a Sunday, that is. My sister whisked
my father and I to her house in Floral Park for breakfast and to
await the arrival of my other sister from her home in Florida on a
visit. I didn’t get to start my reviews until after 3:00 pm. I set
to work as soon as I got home. But Friday was very interesting
and proved a challenge to sum up. The movie came preceded by a short
and the restaurant was a Pandora’s box of revelations. But then,
life, if it is to be lived, is a journey of discovery. Enjoy!
Party
Central (Pixar, 2014) – Director: Kelsey
Mann. Writers: Pete Docter, Andrew Stanton. Voices: Billy Crystal,
John Goodman, Charlie Day, Dave Foley, Julia Sweeney, Sean Hayes,
Joel Murray, & Peter Sohn. Color, animated, 5 minutes.
The
Monsters University crowd is back in this animated short where
all the fraternities of the school are ready to greet the new
freshmen with competing parties. Of course all the major frat houses
have the cool decorations, music, lighting effects and food. Not so
for our heroes at Oozma Kappa. They have none of that and,
consequently no guests. That is until the arrival of Sully (Goodman)
and Mike (Crystal), bringing their secret weapon “transport doors.”
Using these, they “steal” guests, girls, DJs, food, and
decorations from the main frat house while sneaking through an
unsuspecting couples’ bedroom.
It
all goes smoothly until Mrs. Squiggles (Sweeney) catches them in the
act. They think the jig is up; that is, until she introduces “Door
Jamming” – something she did in the old days – where the doors
are placed side by side on the floor and the jammer makes a flaming
dive through one and out the other. Needless to say, the human couple
get suspicious with all the unseen, but felt, comings and goings into
and out of their closet until Mrs. Squiggles flashes into view and
just as rapidly zips out their bedroom entrance. It’s then they see
the scary creatures in their closet on a background of flames. The
end results? The “trendy” frat house ends up with no party, Oozma
Kappa has the best party ever, and the human couple beg their son if
they can sleep with him tonight, because “there are monsters in our
closet.” “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!”
replies their son.
The
constant action of this clever short makes it entertaining to the
point of the audience wishing it were longer. The excellent Pixar
animation and writing by Docter and Stanton exceeds that of the
original movie – written by Dan Scanlon, Daniel Gerson and Robert
L. Baird. I think the writing crews should share notes in case
another sequel is being planned.
Rating: 4
out of 5 Martini glasses.
The
Muppets Most Wanted (Walt Disney, 2014) –
Director: James Bobin. Writers: James Bobin & Nicholas Stoller.
Based on Jim Henson’s characters. Cast: Ricky Gervais, Ty Burrell,
Tina Fey, Steve Whitmire, Eric Jacobson, Matt Vogel, Peter Linz, Dave
Goelz, Bill Barretta, & David Rudman. Color, 112 minutes.
Have
I ever explained what a Kina Hora is? It’s Yiddish
for a kind of “evil eye” curse one can put on oneself by simply
voicing a disaster. The opening number to the new Muppet movie,
“They’ve Ordered a Sequel/We’re Doing a Sequel,” containing
the lyric: “That's what we do in Hollywood, and everybody knows
that the sequel's never quite as good.” And this was their kina
hora. I sat for the entire hour and 52 minutes wondering why my
beloved Muppets (I watched all the TV shows and had seen the previous
movies; “this is actually the fifth sequel” per Doctor Bunsen
Honeydew) were not taking me on a hilarious journey into madcap fun.
Thinking back on the reasons why I can only conclude that the voices
were just wrong.
With
Jim Henson’s death in 1990 and the retirement a decade later
of Frank Oz (Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear, Animal and Sam the Eagle) the
characters are mere shadows of their former selves. Instead of
getting lost in the crazy story I was unnerved by what happened to my
memories. Steve Whitmire’s Kermit is sedate compared to the
original and Eric Jacobsen could not fill Oz’s size-tens.
The
story this time is that the Muppets have just finished filming a
movie and are wondering what to do next. Of course, a sequel! They
meet Dominic Badguy (Gervais) who corrects Fozzie’s pronunciation
of his name to “Bahd-jee…it’s French.” Dominic is in league
with Constantine (Vogel), the most dangerous frog in the world, and
who differs from Kermit only by a black mole on his right cheek.
Together, they use the Muppets in a caper to steal the Crown Jewels
of England. The Muppets convince Kermit to sign Dominic on as their
manager against his better judgment and embark on a “World Tour.”
Meanwhile, Constantine, who has broken out of Gulag 28B in Siberia,
meets Kermit in a back alley, glues a fake mole to his cheek and has
him captured by Nadya (Fey), head of security at the Gulag. He then
applies green make-up to hide his own mole and, practicing Kermit’s
voice (badly, he never loses the Russian accent), takes his place as
leader of the Muppet troop. Kermit, on the other hand is hauled off
to Siberia in a straitjacket and Hannibal Lecter mask.
The
only Muppet to not accept the new Kermit is Animal, shouting “Bad
Frog, Bad Frog!” as he proceeds to bite Constantine’s arm. Walter
(Linz), the newest Muppet, is suspicious from the beginning but goes
along with the general cluelessness of the rest, accepting this
strange-talking Kermit who lets them all do whatever they want. The
show’s performance suffers as a result. Gonzo’s (Goelz) “Indoor
Running of the Bulls” skit nearly kills Salma Hayek one of many
guest cameos in the movie). Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem’s
lengthy rock performance, with an even longer drum solo by Animal
goes for hours and Miss Piggy’s medley of Celine Dion songs puts
the audience to sleep. Waldorf (Goelz) is applauding madly. Statler
(Whitmire) asks why. “They’ve accomplished the impossible! The
show is even worse!”
It’s
not until Fozzie picks up a newspaper whose front page features a
photo of Constantine and, accidentally covering the mole, sees
Kermit’s image. He shows this to Walter and the lights go on for
both of them (literally). Walter and Fozzie take Animal and go to
Siberia to break Kermit out.
Meanwhile,
Nadya has made Kermit the director of the annual Gulag Follies Show
and has also fallen in love with him. When Walter, Fozzie and Animal
free him, she follows relentlessly.
The
crimes committed by Constantine and Dominic over the course of the
Muppets’ tour are also being investigated by the unlikely team of
Sam the Eagle and Jean Pierre Napoleon (Burrell) representing
respectively the CIA and Interpol.
Constantine
(under Dominic’s tutelage) woos Miss Piggy with the high-powered
disco song “I’ll Get You What You Want” and convinces her to
marry him. What Miss Piggy doesn’t know is that the engagement ring
is a bomb.
The
musical numbers take center stage in The Muppets Most
Wanted, and while they are excellent and well composed, the
comedy should have that position. Previous Muppet movies were
consistently funnier. The storyline is good and the gags (way too
intermittent) clever (in one or two cases abstruse). I laughed when
no one else did. But I was not transported as in earlier episodes.
For this I blame the distracting voices. Yes, there is a happy ending
and the inevitable gimmick-billed “that stunt never works”
actually works when needed (the Muppet Ladder – you have to see it
to believe it) but the whole could have been much better. Even the
list of “guest star cameos” didn’t help because I did not know
(or recognize) most of them. I did see Lady Gaga, Tony Bennett,
Celine Dion, Zach Galifianakis, Josh Groban, Frank Langella, Ray
Liotta, Stanley Tucci and Usher but the 20 others were lost on me. On
the positive side, kids not familiar with previous Muppet voices will
love it.
Rating
3 out of 5 Martini glasses.
Jack’s
Sliders and Sushi
171
Third Avenue (Between 16th and
17th Streets),
New York
I
know: the name of this restaurant could make you wonder how two such
diametrically opposed styles of food preparation could coexist in one
place. I did. Then I looked at their menu online and saw that sliders
were a small part of the generally Japanese bill of fare. With that I
was encouraged.
Hoping
that “Jack” was a Japanese chef and that none of the number of
seedier-looking eateries on Third Avenue was the one I was heading
for, I finally located the pure white exterior and sedate stenciled
windows of my destination. The white sign over the door with the
restaurant name inscribed over a golden shadow of a bulldog intrigued
me. The “A” card rating in the front window emboldened me.
Passing
the heavy muslin “wind curtain” at the entrance, I was astounded
at the small size of this restaurant. It could easily have fit inside
the living room/dining room area of my house. The 12 marble-topped
tables leading to the kitchen and single restroom in the back
surmounted by the white wood latticed ceiling lit by caged bare bulbs
and spots were mostly occupied by young diners. The young woman who
would become my waitress asked if I had a reservation and seated me
(after moving a table away from two girls seated in the front window)
next to the wind curtain.
Daniela
brought me a bottle of water and a tumbler along with the menu and
wine list (both single cards) and asked if I wanted a drink. Looking
up at the blackboard on the left wall and chose the Ommegang Beer
from Cooperstown, New York. I was curious about it since seeing it in
a previous restaurant. Daniela brought the bottle and an appropriate
beer glass. When I poured it I was amazed at the foamy head filling
the glass rapidly. I haven’t seen a head like this since I was in
St. Joseph, Missouri, at a Barbershop convention. It took a while to
dissipate and allow me to drink, but the beer was flavorful and
herbal with a refreshing tang.
The
menu was divided into Starters, Salads, Soups, Sliders (8 of them),
Jack’s Ramen (noodle dishes), Off the Grill, Specialty Rolls, Sushi
Entrees, Rolls & Hand Rolls, Drinks and Desserts. I asked Daniela
if one starter, a soup and two Specialty Rolls would be too much
food. She assured me it was not.
Determined to go unusual I chose the
Old Bay Garlic Fries as my starter. They were served in a cardboard
basket and were crisp, lightly salted and garlicky. A ramekin of
mustard colored dipping sauce, with a “happy face” drawn on the
surface in catsup, accompanied them. It was neither of the above
ingredients, but it was amusing and tasty.
Soon
after, the soup arrived. I had chosen the Spicy Kimchi Soup (marked
“new” on the menu). Yes, I know Kimchi is the spicy cabbage
national dish of Korea, but I’ve never seen it in a soup. It was
just as fiery but mixed with onions, zucchini, tomatoes and tofu. The
large bowl of hearty soup lasted a good while and the fries
effectively cut the spice.
Not
surprisingly, the Specialty Sushi Rolls arrived well before I
finished either the starter or the soup. This didn’t bother me,
however, because the soup was hot enough to last, the fries were
still great even after they had cooled down, and the sushi was cold
to begin. Besides, the main course was beautifully presented on a
white square platter (I decided to choose the animal representations
of Yin and Yang) the Tiger Roll (Tuna, Kani – snow crab, spicy
mayonnaise, and avocado inside with salmon, eel and “crunch”
outside) lay diagonally on hoisin sauce flanked by the Dragon Roll
(eel and cucumber inside rice with Massago - Smelt Roe on top). It
got admiring comments from the girls at the next table and delighted
reaction from my taste buds. The tender fish plus the hoisin sauce
was sweet and delicious and also helped cut the spice of the
remaining soup.
When
I finished the sushi and the beer I decided that I wanted to try a
glass of the 2008 Terre Del Barolo wine. It was dry and medium
bodied, with a nice finish that went well with the remaining soup and
fries.
Daniela
asked if I had room for dessert and I noted that there were two on
the menu that were interesting. On second glance, the Dark Chocolate
Bread Pudding won the contest. It arrived in a small ceramic cup
topped with a ball of green tea ice cream. It wasn’t as chocolate-y
as I expected but it was tasty, soft and with a crunchy crust and the
ice cream added a nice touch. What drink to finish with? “What’s
Bubble Tea?” “It’s Tapioca with tea.” Another adventure. It
came in six flavors and a choice of hot or cold. I chose Passion
Fruit and hot. “My favorite!” said Daniela. It was hot, sweet but
slightly tart and the tapioca was chewy and had absorbed the flavor
of the Passion Fruit.
Before
I asked for the check I asked Daniela if the was indeed a “Jack.”
She smiled and told me that “Jack” was the owner’s bulldog –
a representative of which (stuffed) was sitting on the counter in the
rear of the restaurant. I was glad I didn’t ask that at the first.
The check was another adventure. My credit card was attached to a
small electronic device with a touch screen to choose a tip
percentage and one’s signature could be done with a fingernail. It
took me a while to figure it out, but I did.
Despite
its small size, Jack’s Sliders and Sushi delivered a world of
flavor and, judging by the other patrons, a future foray into dining
diversity after Lent, when I can try those sliders.
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