By Ed Garea
Billy
the Kid vs. Dracula (Embassy,
1966) – Director: William Beaudine. Writer: Carl K. Hittleman
(story & s/p). Cast: John Carradine, Chuck Courtney, Melinda
Plowman, Virginia Christine, Harry Carey Jr., Walter Janovitz, Hannie
Landman, Bing Russell, Olive Carey, Roy Barcroft, Marjorie Bennett,
William Forrest, George Cisar, & Charlita. Color, 73 minutes.
Wow.
A vampire Western! Now there’s a genre. And yet,
it’s not the first. Universal’s Curse of the Undead beat
it to movie screens by eight years (and it’s a better film to
boot). But the producers of this can take some comfort in the fact
that this film is worse. Much worse.
In
fact, for a film dependent on action, out of its 73-minute running
time, only about two, or three at most, of those minutes contain any
action. The rest of the time is spent building up to the action with
some great establishing scenes that fall flat on their face, really
crummy dialogue, a leading man with all the appeal of imitation lime
Jello, and a villain who appears clearly swacked in most of his
scenes.
The
film was reputedly shot in about 5 days and looks like it. It was
filmed at Ray “Crash” Corrigan’s spread in Simi Valley, the
scene of many a B Western. In fact, look closely and you’ll notice
the ranch house was the same house used in the Buster Crabbe/Al
“Fuzzy” St. John Westerns for PRC. For those who like their
acting bad and their vampire bats fake, this is one to see. Those who
like their movies at least making a little sense would be wise to
skip this one, if for no other reason than taste.
Our
film opens with a really terrible day-for-night shot of a rubber bat,
compete with wires, flying around. Cut to an obvious German immigrant
family camping out for the night. By the look of their covered wagon
we can tell this is the Old West. Mom and Dad Oster (Christine and
Janovitz) are sleeping on one side of the camp while daughter Lisa
(Landman) is asleep on the other. Suddenly, Lisa is awakened by the
chirp of the bat (Chirp??) and proclaims, “It’s here!” Father
reassures her that she’s only having a nightmare, but Mother places
a cross in her hand for safety and they go back to sleep.
The
bat ducks behind the wagon and out comes Drac (Carradine). Although
the film never mentions Dracula by name (probably for legal reasons),
since it’s used in the title, we’ll refer to him as such.
Obviously famished from all that flying about, Drac decides to stop
at Lisa’s for a quick meal. He puts the bite on her, but her hand
opens, revealing the cross, which scares Drac off. Looking at her
neck later we can see that Drac left four bite marks. Must’ve been
using his bottom fangs as well.
Cut
to a stagecoach, which has stopped to take on Drac as a passenger.
He’s traveling light – just himself and no luggage. The other
passengers are Mary Ann Bentley (Bennett), her brother James
Underhill (Forrest), and an aptly-named liquor salesman Joe Flake
(Cisar). Making conversation, Mary explains that her husband has
passed and she went to Boston to bring back her brother to help her
run the ranch, the Double Bar B. She shows Drac a picture of her
daughter, Elizabeth (Plowman). Drac is quite taken with the photo,
telling from his hammy expression. (He also seems inebriated as well;
perhaps he’s been into Joe’s sample case.) My favorite quote in
this scene is when Mary Ann mentions to Drac that she shouldn’t be
traveling at night. Night? Hell, it looks like late afternoon out
there, that’s just how bad the optical filter is. (Later on
Beaudine just decides to dispense with it altogether rather than
continue the farce. So we’re treated to the sight of Drac walking
around in broad daylight. Oh well, perhaps he’s using industrial
strength sunscreen.) The stage stops for a rest at an Indian village
where Drac departs and later that night puts the bite on a lovely and
stacked Indian maiden (Charlita), who’s fetching water from the
village’s well. All through the film when Drac is about to do
something really diabolical, his eyes bug out and a red light shines
on his face. He also has the power to disappear and reappear at will.
Backstage, most of his disappearing came at lunchtime, when he hauled
himself down the street each day in full costume to a bar where he
would enjoy a hearty liquid lunch. Afterward he would return
well-roasted, and it shows in his performance at several points in
the picture.
When
the group is about to leave the next day, neither hide nor hair of
Drac can be found. So they decide to go on without him. Bad move, for
the other Indians have found the body of the maiden and conclude it
was the passengers in the stage what done it. (Watch closely and
you’ll see they get a cue to rise up and ride off after the stage.)
They hunt it down and kill everyone abroad. Soon after, Drac appears
in his bat disguise (complete with strings), ducks behind the stage
and reappears in human form. He searches the deceased, taking James’
identity papers and the photo of Elizabeth. We can easily guess where
he's going.
Cut
to his next destination, the Double Bar B ranch, where Elizabeth (or
“Betty”) is being taught to shoot by a handsome young man, who we
shortly learn is Billy the Kid (Courtney). It seems Billy has
reformed by turning himself into a Casper Milquetoast type. He wants
to marry Betty, but is worried people will find out he’s really
Billy the Kid. “But that’s all behind you,” Betty reassures
him. Oh sure, everyone will forget all the murders he committed
because he’s now a nice guy. But as the scene ends we see that
Billy and Betty are being spied upon. The voyeur is Dan Thorpe
(Russell), along with a couple of toadies, who fill in the missing
plot hole with just one line – very economical: “That guy Bonney
sure moved in on you. First your foreman’s job, then your
girlfriend.” So we now know two things: Thorpe will be out for
revenge, and Billy will eventually kill him. Later we’re treated to
a little tension, Beaudine style, when Billy tells Betty he’s found
a lamb with its throat neatly sliced open. Billy tells her that
Indian Jim said he saw a large bat kill the lamb. Cue the eerie
theremin music.
Drac,
meanwhile, is now in town posing as Betty’s dead uncle. He’s
taken a room at the hotel, begging the question of why he just
doesn’t go out to the ranch, since he’s now the dead uncle. Drac
informs anyone who’ll listen that he came on ahead of the stage.
About a minute after this the townsfolk are informed of the stage’s
fate. Cut to the threesome sitting at a table in the hotel. Why, it’s
the immigrants! And they quickly point out that Drac is a vampire.
Drac feigns ignorance; just because he’s running around in that
silly looking costume with a pointed goatee doesn’t mean he’s one
of the undead. The townsfolk, having never seen a vampire before,
tend to agree.
Drac
graciously gives his room at the hotel to the immigrants and goes out
to the ranch. Later that night he visits the hotel to finish the job
on their daughter, but when he returns to the ranch he finds he has
company. Yes, it’s those pesky immigrants, who Billy has hired as
household help. Frau Oster is determined to protect Betty from Drac’s
evil designs. (Several times throughout the film, Mrs. Oster is
referred to as “Mrs. Olson,” as Virginia Christine was famous for
playing the character in Folgers ads. I guess Beaudine thought it was
a natural mistake by the townsfolk or just didn’t want to do
another take to get things right. Would it have mattered, anyway?)
Frau
Olsen now decides to decorate Betty’s bedroom in various shades of
wolfsbane, the equivalent of a cold shower to an amorous vampire. (If
she had all this to start, then why did her daughter get killed? Just
asking.) Billy, meanwhile, brings his concerns about Uncle James to
the wrong fellow – Uncle James. Carradine tactfully tells to him
stop prying and believing those German immigrants, or get the pink
slip. Later, Billy is conducting a meeting about good employee
relations with Thorpe, the outcome of which sends Billy running to
Doc Hull (Carey). While getting patched up, he tells her his
suspicions about the newly arrived Uncle, and discovers that the doc
just happens to have a couple of books on the subject. I’m sure
that part of every good country doctor’s library has a book or two
on vampirism. One never knows when it’ll be needed. Billy pours out
his suspicions, “You know that lamb I told you about? Its throat
was ripped wide open. At least that's what the boys told me."
When the doc asks him if he thinks it could be the work of a vampire,
Billy turns thoughtful: "I hate to think it could be true but,
well, I . . . I don't know about things like that. You know, I . . .
I ain't had too much schoolin’."
It’s
at this point the doc whips out her book and opens it right in the
middle, miraculously landing on the right passage to answer the
question. She begins to read: “According to an old European
superstition, a vampire is a ghost which leaves its resting place at
night to suck the blood of living victims; humans, when possible.
Sometimes it kills its victims, other times it keeps them alive.
Sometimes a vampire takes one of his victims as a mate and eventually
turns her into a vampire . . . Now you know as much about it as I do,
Billy.” Billy is dumbfounded. “Gosh . . . Well, how do you know
of a person is a vampire? How can you tell?” Yes, how can you
tell? Not to worry, for the doc says, “Well, there’s
some footnotes here in German. My German's pretty bad. But one thing
I can make out: A vampire . . . does not cast . . . a reflection . .
. in a mirror." (Vampires fur Dummkopfs)
When
Billy tells the sheriff (Barcroft) about his newly obtained
knowledge, it sets off a light bulb in the sheriff’s empty head.
Earlier he dismissed Frau Oster’s explanation for her daughter’s
death. Now he a fount of wisdom: “Ah
yeah, vampires. Seems to me I recollect that she said that’s who
done the killin’!”
We
now cut to Thorpe, who’s trying to score some brownie points with
Uncle James. He comes into the office and says he want to see Uncle
James. Carradine rises from his chair. Now, this scene must have been
shot after lunch, because Carradine weaves his way over to see
Thorpe, who proceeds to dime out Billy over his accusations about
Unk. That’s it – Billy is out and Thorpe is in. In addition, Drac
tells his new foreman that he wants Billy clean out of town. Being a
conscientious brown-noser, Thorpe runs into Billy at the hotel bar
and informs Billy that he (Thorpe) has come to make sure Billy leaves
town. A fight breaks out and Thorpe draws, but Billy is faster and
Thorpe has played his last scene.
While
this is going on, Betty is sharing doubts about Billy’s recent
behavior with Eva: “Oh, it’s Billy. He's been acting
so strangely lately. Now he wants me to try some, some experiment on
Uncle James.” Eva asks what sort of experiment it is, to which
Betty replies that it’s done with a mirror. “Oh God, the vampire
test!” Eva exclaims. No, not that! Cue the organ.
As
Betty by this time has foolishly removed the wolfsbane from her room
(something about it clashing with the wallpaper, I believe), Drac now
makes his move. He mesmerizes Betty through a combination of bugging
his eyes out and having the red light shining in his face. (Though,
honestly, that red light makes it seem as if he’s standing behind a
rotisserie chicken cooker.) The next day Billy arrives at the ranch
to find Betty zonked on the bed with two large hickeys on her neck.
Eva tells him to take Betty to the doctor. Although the doc can’t
make heads or tails about what’s wrong, she is sure that it’s the
work of vampires. At this point the sheriff waltzes in to tell Billy
that he has to drag him off to the hoosegow until the matter of
Thorpe’s killing can be put to rest.
Now
that Billy’s cooling his heels in the cooler, Drac makes his big
move. He comes to the doc’s office to take Betty home. In one of
the great nonsensical scenes in film history, the doc decides to put
the vampire test to the test. She takes down the wall mirror, places
it behind the vampire, and then calmly stares into the thing. Drac’s
reaction is to turn around and stare at her until he can remember his
next cue. (At this point Drac is clearly feeling no pain.) He then
walks out carrying Betty, looks back at the doc and makes a noise not
unlike that of a poodle in heat. The great thing is that the entire
scene is done in such a relaxed manner that it almost seems like a
rehearsal for the real scene yet to be shot.
As
if that wasn’t enough, here comes another great scene. (In fact,
the entire film now becomes one laughable scene after another, as if
all seeming pretense to make a decent picture has been tossed out the
window.) As Drac has come for Betty, the doc is in a panic. What to
do? I know – I’ll get Billy. He’ll know what to do! She goes to
the jail to try and spring Billy, but the sheriff is a party pooper:
Billy has to stay put until the trial. At this point, and it’s done
so nonchalantly, the doc – a little old aging and overweight lady –
completely disarms the sheriff by taking his pistol from its holster
with little effort and giving it to Billy, whereupon the sheriff
reluctantly releases Billy on his own recognizance.
Before
Billy leaves to have it out with Drac we are treated to some of the
most inane dialogue in the picture. The doc offers her scapel to
Billy to do Drac in: “Billy!” she says. “Take this! That gun
will do you no good against him!” Billy, as stone-headed as ever,
simply replies that he’s never see a man yet that a bullet won’t
stop. “But he’s not a man!” replies the doc. Billy shrugs,
fingers his gun and simply says, “This’ll do.”
Now
it’s time for the final confrontation. After taking Betty home,
Drac has now moved her to the abandoned silver mine. Earlier he had
been scoping out the mine, and now we know why: it’s a honeymoon
hotel. Drac has a double bed set up and ready to go. In a mine, yet.
But here comes Billy, yelling out Betty’s name so Drac can hear
him. What does Drac do? He hides. Perhaps he intends to jump out and
yell “Surprise!” But a few seconds later he comes out of hiding
to do battle. Drac is kicking Billy‘s ass, knocking him down. Billy
draws and fires, but as the doc said, bullets have no effect. So what
does Billy do now? He throws his gun at Drac, of course (as if he’s
been paying attention to television episodes of Superman),
and from the sound Drac makes Billy has hit his target. In fact, the
gun hits Drac right on the schnozz and I think Drac’s cry wasn’t
in the script. Drac falls down and out. The sheriff and the doc have
been following closely behind, of course, and the doc now hands Billy
her scalpel, which Billy uses to drive into Drac’s heart. We now
suddenly cut to a shot of the rubber bat flapping around outside on
its string. Suddenly, it falls to the ground – dead. Wait, isn’t
Drac the bat? Is Beuadine trying to go metaphysical on us with this
bit of symbolism, as if Drac’s soul were trying to escape? Why are
we even discussing this, anyway? Right before the movie ends, we cut
back to Drac, who is nothing more than a pile of bones. Guess he
won’t be troubling us anymore.
This
film plays rather fast and loose with the vampire legend. Carradine
walks around in the daylight, a no-no for a vampire, but considering
the almost nonexistent day-for-night shots, it was just as well,
anyway. Carradine also carries no coffin around with him. He also
sits down to dinner later in the film: vampires aren’t supposed to
eat, other than drinking blood for nourishment. As for some who feel
that driving a metal stake into Carradine violates the custom of a
wooden stake, I would point out that several films in the past have
employed metal stakes.
Billy
the Kid vs. Dracula is truly a laugh riot, but if it has one
redeeming feature, it’s the plethora of good character actors that
work in it. Besides the top-billed Carradine, we have Harry Carey Jr.
as the stage driver and his mother, Olive, in her last film role as
the doc. Virginia Christine, who gained undying fame as Mrs. Olsen in
the Folger coffee commercials, is Eva Oster, and Walter Janovitz,
best remembered by television fans for his turn as dog keeper Oscar
Schnitzler in Hogan’s Heroes, is her husband Franz.
Ex-foreman Thgrpe is played by Bing Russell, father of Kurt, and the
sheriff is B-movie stalwart Roy Barcroft, famous for his appearance
if the Republic serials of the ‘40s and early ‘50s. And Indian
maiden Charlita Roeder (sometimes billed by just her first name) had
previously worked for Beaudine in his 1952 classic, Bela
Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla.
If
anyone could be said to fail in this film, it’s Chuck Courtney,
whose Billy the Kid comes off like bland Marshmallow Fluff instead of
a tough guy trying to reform. Perhaps he simply lost interest in the
film, because Courtney had a quite a career forbore this as a solid
actor. He had previously worked for Beaudine, getting critical
plaudits for his role in Born to the Saddle (Astor,
1953). He played Dan Reid, nephew to Clayton Moore on the
long-running hit The Lone Ranger. He was also a favorite
of both John Wayne and Robert Conrad, who employed him in many of
their vehicles. In 1994, he received The Golden Boot award for his
contribution to Western films. A series of strokes that left him
totally debilitated led him to take his own life in 2000 at the age
of 69.
Memorable
Dialogue: Billy runs into Betty outside the abandoned silver
mine and asks what’s going on.
Billy:
Where’s your uncle?
Betty:
Inside.
Billy:
What’s he doing in an abandoned mine?
Betty:
That’s his business.
Billy:
Maybe it’s my business, too.
Betty:
(Breaks down) Oh, Billy, what’s happening to us? We’ve never
quarreled like this before, ever!
Miscellany: This
was Carradine’s first attempt at a vampire role since playing
Dracula in Universal’s House
of Dracula
in 1945 . . . Billy
the Kid vs. Dracula was
originally slated to begin production in 1961 with Joe Breen as
director . . . The film was shot in anywhere from 5 to 8 days . . .
Interiors for the film were shot at The Producer's Studio in
Hollywood and exteriors at Corriganville, Hollywood stuntman Ray
"Crash" Corrigan's ranch in California's Simi Valley. The
ranch was also used for King Vidor's Duel
in the Sun (1946),
John Ford's Fort
Apache (1948),
and Sam Fuller's The
Baron of Arizona (1950)
. . . In Universal’s The
Mummy’s Ghost (1944),
evil high priest Carradine stalks reincarnated Egyptian princess
Ananka, played by none other than Virginia Christine.
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