Dinner and a Movie
Teenage Turtles, Turner and Taylor
Teenage Turtles, Turner and Taylor
By
Steve Herte
The
chaos at the office continued this week with people reserving
cubicles and not showing up and other people looking around
desperately searching for a space to work. I'm glad the week was
broken up by two nights of karaoke – Tuesday and Thursday. Singing
is my release. For some, it's golf, others gambling and still others
getting smashed. Not me. A song that I love, accurately covered is a
pleasure I can barely express. That, and the company of good friends,
makes the relaxation complete. On Tuesday, I go to my version of
"Cheers," Gabby O'Hara's on 39th Street, a place where
everybody knows me (especially the delightful Irish waitresses.)
Thursday is a once in a while deal at a Japanese restaurant called
East, where they rent rooms by the hour and serve drinks and
food and you choose the songs from an enormous book. Don't ask me
what my favorite song to sing is. I have a huge repertoire and I love
them all. Once I know a song, I love it. Friday, on the other hand
was a different situation. None of the movies that were opening this
past week interested me and I fell back on one already in theaters.
There were 10 people (six were small children) in the audience with
me. And the restaurant? Well, you'll see. Enjoy!
Teenage
Mutant Ninja Turtles (Paramount, 2014) – Director:
Jonathan Liebesman. Writers: Josh Appelbaum, Andre Menec & Evan
Duughtey (s/p). Based on characters created by Peter Laird &
Kevin Eastman. Cast: Megan Fox, Will Arnett, William Fichtner, Alan
Ritchson, Noel Fisher, Pete Ploszek, Johnny Knoxville, Jeremy Howard,
Danny Woodburn, Tony Shalhoub, Tohoru Madamune, Whoopi Goldberg,
Minae Noji, Abby Alliott, & Madison Mason. Color and 3D, 101
minutes.
I
must admit I had my reservations about seeing this movie. I wasn’t
crazy about the animated series and, to be honest, I thought the
whole concept to be ridiculous. But this production put the entire
fantastic story into perspective. What I knew from the cartoon was
that these were four wisecracking energetic brother turtles whose
knowledge of martial arts was taught to them by a rat. What I didn’t
know was how they came to be what they are.
The
main story is as follows: A gang called the Foot Clan is laying siege
to New York City (they intend to put the whole city under their
feet). They are terrorizing the inhabitants and stealing whatever
they want. Their leader is a shadowy figure known as “Shredder”
(Masamone), and the police are helpless against them.
Enter
April O’Neil (Fox), a street reporter for the Channel 6 News. She
gets all the boring assignments and (of course) wants to break into
big-story reporting. When not on the job, she’s skulking around the
docks or wherever “The Clan” may be conducting “business.”
During one of her forays she sees a “vigilante” thwart a Clan
theft, but no one back at the office will believe her. Eventually she
witnesses all four of the turtles battling the Clan and she
photographs them. They see the flash and confront her, asking her to
hand over the camera (to keep them and their activities, secret).
Leonardo (Ploszek – movements, Knoxville – voice) in the blue
mask is always at odds with his brother Raphael (Ritchson) in the red
mask. Donatello (Howard), the techno-wiz in the purple mask, is
constantly trying to keep peace between the two, and Michelangelo
(Fisher), in the orange mask, is in his own world of fun and
flirtation with April.
They get the camera but neglect the
smart-phone on which April records their flamboyant exit. When she
takes this story to the head of the newsroom, Bernadette Thompson
(Goldberg), she receives more disbelief and more demands for direct
evidence. April then goes to Eric Sacks (Fichtner), CEO of Sacks
Incorporated, whose company appears to be the target of Clan
activities. We learn that Eric employed her father – until his
laboratory burnt down and all of his research was lost. He tells
April of “Operation Renaissance” and how her father was trying to
create a mutagen remedy to counteract any biochemical agent used
against the people of New York.
On
their return to their New York sewer home base, the turtle quartet
try to keep any spotting of them by April a secret from their
“Sensei,” Splinter (Woodburn – movements, Shalhoub – voice),
but he worms it out of them by first setting them on grueling ninja
practice tasks and then tempting them with a “99 Cheese Pizza”
(their favorite snack – something April fed them as normal box
turtles). Splinter has them bring April to their lair. When she
recognizes Splinter as the lab rat from her fathers’ lab he tells
her that she’s the savior of them all, for it was she who rescued
them from the fire and directed them to the sewer, where Splinter
raised the four turtles to teenage as a father figure (the mutagen
made him grow faster than they did).
Unfortunately,
Sacks is working with The Clan and the business card he gave April at
their last meeting is a GPS locator. An army of Clan followers breaks
into the secret sewer rooms and while Shredder (in a new shiny steel
Samurai Suit – he looks like a walking food processor with three
times as many blades) subdues Splinter, Leonardo, Michelangelo and
Donatello are captured. (They had to use industrial strength cattle
prods to do so.) Raphael and April are left for dead – but, of
course, they’re not.
Splinter
is still alive, but needs serious help, and Raphael and April go to
save the other three. She calls her cameraman Vernon Fenwick (Arnett)
to bring his van. He’s been trying to flirt with her from the
beginning and thinks this is a ploy to get his attention. That is,
until she climbs in, and Raphael bursts from the rear to his extreme
shock and instantly and convinces him that her story is real.
Eric’s
plan is to drain the blood from the turtles and extract the mutagen.
Then, using the antenna on what looks like the Conde-Nast Building,
he will infect New York with a deadly agent and cure them all using
the mutagen, thus becoming a hero and putting the entire city in Clan
control.
Sounds
like a standard good guy/bad guy comic book plot, no? If it weren’t
for the spectacular CGI effects creating the Turtles and Splinter and
the genuine expressions on their faces combined with the great
dialogue, it would be. I was drawn into the story, even though I
didn’t expect to be. The voice matches to the characters added to
their credibility, and the movements (only a few hokey slow-motion
scenes) were smoothly done. Fox does a great acting job considering
the crazy story, and Arnett plays off her character nicely. The only
major fault I can find with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (and
for me this is major) several times during the movie when the camera
is focused on the foreground speaker, the background 3D goes out of
kilter, making me want to check my 3D glasses. If this was done for
art’s sake, it shouldn’t have been done. It just came off as
faulty camera work and detracted from the believability. Otherwise,
the camera angles were, at times, breathtaking.
I
loved the (expected) teenage humor sprinkled throughout the movie and
especially Michelangelo’s last attempt at luring April into their
“Turtle-mobile” using “Happy Together” by (who else?) the
Turtles. Parents, for all the swordplay (or rather katana-play) in
this film, absolutely no blood is shed, and there are no lovey-dovey
scenes. Bring the kids. You’ll enjoy it too.
Rating:
3½ out of 5 Martini glasses.
BUtterfield
8
5
East 38th Street, New York
After
my fabulous bus tour courtesy of Turner Classic Movies during my
recent New York “staycation,” I jumped at the chance to visit a
restaurant called “BUtterfield 8.” The eatery bills
itself as “a posh Manhattan lounge and a charming restaurant” on
its website. On the tour we had passed 1050 5th Avenue,
and were shown a clip of Elizabeth Taylor emerging from that address
in a fur coat and hailing a cab. I figured the place might well be
worth a visit.
When
I arrived, I noticed its sleek 38th Street
entrance framed in charcoal grey with bright orange lettering. As I
entered the door, flanked by potted evergreens and faux gaslight
lanterns, my hopes went up. Inside, however, there was no evidence of
a Captain’s Station, and a crowd of very young people were noisily
chatting and drinking beer at the bar. In the distance I could see
the entrance to the dining area and I headed that way, excusing
myself past the chattering youngsters. I felt that my arrival had
increased the median age of the room by at least 20 years. Only two
of the dozen or so tables in the dining area were occupied, and those
by more of the same.
As
I looked around, I still couldn’t spot a Captain’s Station, so I
caught the attention of a pretty young girl who was working there and
asked if anyone was doing the seating. She indicated a booth in the
bar. I told her I would really rather sit at a table since I made a
reservation. She went to get the bartender as I perched myself on the
last stool at the bar. He arrived quickly, and informed me that this
would have to be a “cash-only” deal because their credit card
network connection was down. (Strike one!) You could have knocked me
off the stool with a feather boa.
“We
couldn’t have foreseen this, sir.” “When I made my reservation,
neither could I. Where am I supposed to go now? I’m sure I am not
carrying enough cash to cover my dinner.” “Since you made a
reservation we can offer you a cocktail on the house.”
They
didn’t have Beefeaters (Strike two!), and I settled on a
Stolichnaya martini. As I sipped it, my mind raced through my
database of restaurants in the same area where I could fall back. The
Australian is on the next block, but that place is just as noisy as
this one. Keen’s Chophouse is four blocks away, 44 is six blocks
away. I could call either one and get a last-minute table, and I’ve
not reviewed either place. I sipped my drink as I watched the girl I
spoke to use the touch-screen monitor to register diners’ choices.
Suddenly, on my second to last sip I saw her screen change and
“credit card” appeared among the choices. The bartender
reappeared and told me their network was back up, and I asked to be
seated.
The
dining area doubles as their room for private parties. The walnut
paneling and cream ceiling were countered by a silly mural on the
back wall depicting an old New York skyline as seen through a
glass-enclosed terrace on a high floor. (To me it just looked askew.)
There was large crystal chandelier hanging over the spare bar. Four
identical ones in the main bar mirrored it. This is
what they call “posh”? I sat on the faux-leather banquette at a
single table; adjusting it until it stopped rocking. “Lounge?”
No, not really.
Soon
enough, Kristel, my server, arrived with the food menu and the
wine/drink list, and I told her tap water was my preference. When she
returned I told her I would like to try one of their specialty
cocktails, The John O’Hara – “a
new twist on an old classic” –
Woodford reserve bourbon, Tuaca (an Italian liqueur flavored with
vanilla and citrus), Earl Grey Tea, simple syrup, a dash of walnut
bitters. She nodded and motioned to take away both menus. “No, no,
I need those. I am having dinner and I am having wine.” She
immediately gave them back as she departed to put in the drink order.
The
drink was perfect – sweet and a little
tart with the smoky accents of the tea; though I couldn’t figure
out which “classic” it was a “new twist” on. I told Kristel I
needed her help with planning a three-course meal. I already had my
tastes set for the main course from looking at the menu online. When
I suggested the three dishes I had in mind she told me, honestly,
that it was too much food. I cut out one dish and ordered. Again, she
tried to remove the wine list. “No, no,” I said. “I need that
for the wine.”
The
Baby Kale Caesar Salad was a healthy (some would say Way Too Healthy)
bowl full of the crispy, curly-leafed green lightly coated in anchovy
dressing (not enough garlic to kill the fishy taste) and topped by
five small toast slices disguised as croutons. It was impressive to
say the least and the kale was fresh. But if you know me, more
garlic, no hairy fish. I ordered a glass of the La Monica
Montepulciano that complimented it beautifully.
My
main course, the Braised Short Rib Tortellini over Parsnip Purée in
a red wine jus, arrived before I finished the salad (luckily, not
Strike three) and I re-arranged the dishes until the salad was on the
side. The Tortellini (actually Tortelloni; they were too big to be
Tortellini) was tender, and the delightful shredded meat inside
succulent.
I loved the Parsnip Purée, and wished mashed potatoes
could be this good – especially with the rich beef-flavored gravy.
By the time I finished both dishes I was becoming sated and I told
Kristel she was right. The Steak Quesadilla would have been too much
food. I asked her for a glass of the Domaine de Magdalanne Cotes du
Rhone as a “thinking wine” while I mulled over dessert.
Kristel
responded immediately that they only have two desserts, and described
them. I chose the “Cookie Smash” – a large ball of vanilla ice
cream served in a hot individual iron skillet and resting in a nest
of smashed chocolate chip cookies and covered in chocolate, hot fudge
sauce. Wow! I needed that. I’m glad she warned me about too much
food. I finished it easily. I finished with a double espresso and a
shot of green Chartreuse.
BUtterfield
8 has been doing business since 2005 (so says its website) and
considers itself as a “Gastropub” (the portions are too big for
that to be so). The food is good and the drinks innovative and tasty.
But in all that time of doing business why didn’t they have the
back-up procedure that every restaurant in Chinatown and Little Italy
has for when the network goes down? And, I just couldn’t imagine
Elizabeth Taylor ever setting foot in the place, especially since she
didn’t want to do BUtterfield 8 in the first
place. Thank you Turner Classic Movie Tours!
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