Exodus on a Gran Scale
By Steve Herte
Have
you ever had that kind of a day when you think it's all going to be
easier than the rest of the week, and then it just isn't? That was my
day at work.
Oh
well, I thought, my evening activities will make up for it. I checked
the time of the movie and I was on schedule. It wasn't until I was
almost at the box office of the Battery Park Regal Theater (three
escalators up) that I checked the ticket and saw "Regal Theater
– Union Square." Yow! Good thing I left enough time. I had to
really hustle across downtown and catch the Lexington Avenue express
(one stop) to Union Square and, miraculously, huffing and puffing
only missed the first couple of minutes of the movie. But then I told
myself, "You're going to have to go back downtown again for the
restaurant!" Sheesh! Thank goodness the movie ended at 7:30 pm
and I ran out on the credits. I caught the express train back
downtown and made it to 22 Murray Street before my reservation at
7:45. The restaurant wasn't there. It was a block away at 22 Warren
Street. Now I ask you, am I getting old or what? Enjoy!
Exodus:
Gods and Kings (20th Century
Fox, 2014) –
Director: Ridley Scott. Writers: Adam Cooper, Jeffrey Caine, Bill
Collage, & Steven Zaillian. Cast: Christian Bale, Joel Edgerton,
John Turturro, Aaron Paul, Ben Mendelsohn, Martia Valverde, Sigourney
Weaver, Ben Kingsley, Hiam Abbass, Isaac Andrews, Ewen Bremner,
Indira Varma, Golshifteh Farahani, Ghassdan Massoud, & Tara
Fitzgerald. Color, 150 minutes.
The
one good thing this movie did, aside from its colossal scale and
special effects, was to get me to reread Exodus in
the Bible. The writers have managed to totally retell the glorious
story of the release of 600,000 Israelites from 400 years of
enslavement in Egypt by playing up the brutality and violence (on
both sides) and nearly eliminating the miraculous.
The
film begins with Moses (Bale) as an adult and treated as a brother by
Ramses (Edgerton) and together they conduct war against the Hittites.
During the battle, Ramses’ chariot loses a wheel and he’s
suddenly on foot fighting the ferocious enemy. Moses assists and
rescues him to another chariot and the Egyptians are forced to
retreat. Seti (Turturro) is grateful for Moses’ saving his son even
though he knows Moses is not of his blood. Of course he does. Moses
is the only male in Egypt with a beard and mustache. He doesn’t
even try to look Egyptian. And forget about high speech. Director
Ridley Scott apparently wanted to portray the main characters in some
“modern” fashion by allowing Ramses to speak like a thug from
some low-class neighborhood (Did I detect a Brooklyn accent?) and
Moses’ diction was not much better.
Nevertheless,
the slaves are not making the kind of progress Seti expects in the
quarries overseen by Viceroy Hegap (Mendelsohn) and he assigns Ramses
to check it out. Moses goes instead and agrees to talk with the
Hebrew slaves (not punish them as the effeminate Viceroy suggests)
and meets Nun (Kingsley) and his son Joshua (Paul). Nun tells Moses
the incredible story of how he wound up having Bithia (Abbass) for a
mother and Miriam (Fitzgerald) as a nurse. Yes, did you know that
Miriam helped raise both Moses and Ramses? Meanwhile, Seti falls ill
and dies and Ramses is made pharaoh. Moses tells Ramses the crazy
story and agrees that he doesn’t believe it either. It’s not
until two Hebrew spies repeat the story to Ramses and Ramses’
mother Tuya (Weaver) steps in that Ramses threatens to cut off
Miriam’s hand and Moses admits he’s Miriam’s brother.
Then
next part we all know. Moses is exiled to the desert, but this time
he has a horse (which dies on him along the way) and he has to kill
the two spies, who followed him into the wastelands to get conveyance
to the oasis where he meets, and marries Zipporah (Valverde). They
have a son and a good life until three of his sheep wander up the
mountain (God’s mountain) in the rain (Why? Don’t ask me.).
There’s thunder, there’s lightning, there’s a landslide and
Moses is buried up to his face in rocks and muck facing a bush
burning with blue flame (probably caused by the lightning – or
maybe someone forgot to tell Con Ed). But then, who is this child who
suddenly appears talking about the enslavement of his people and
calling himself “I am?”
Moses
somehow is returned to his tent with a broken leg and a concussion
from a rock that hit him and Zipporah tries to comfort him,
explaining it all as a delusion. But Moses feels compelled to return
to Egypt and tell Ramses that if he doesn’t let the Israelites go,
bad things are going to happen. Did I mention that in this version
Nefertari (Garahani) is not in love with Moses? Well, the 10 plagues
happen in rapid succession (but not in the right order). There is a
massive attack of crocodiles on boatmen and on each other that turns
the Nile into blood. The fish die and the gnats rise up (actually the
third plague). Then the frogs pour out of the Nile, horses and bulls
die of pestilence (nose bleeds, actually), people (including pharaoh)
develop boils, hail the size of baseballs clatters down (but doesn’t
burn), locusts eat everything in sight and darkness falls over Egypt.
Ramses doesn’t believe that Moses’ God did this and threatens to
kill every Hebrew first-born. The child (God) informs Moses and
instructs him to use the lamb’s blood over the doors to protect the
Hebrews.
Here
the story becomes familiar again. Pharaoh’s infant son is dead (as
is every Egyptian family’s first born) and he tells the Israelites
to go to Canaan. They do. Four days later, he’s still angry and
chases them with his army. Moses leads his people via the mountain
road (I don’t remember this part in the Bible) because it’s a
shorter (but a more dangerous) route to the Red Sea. The Israelites
leave their carts behind because they are too wide for the mountain
road. Not so the Egyptians. They need their chariots. Almost within
sight of the Red Sea, Ramses witnesses the mother of all landslides
when the mountain road crumbles beneath his army and sends men and
horses tumbling to their death in the valley. (So many horses die in
this film!)
The
Red Sea recedes and goes dry for the Israelites (not in spectacular
fashion, I might add) and they cross. Ramses and what’s left of his
army follows. Moses and the men he’s trained for battle form a line
against the Egyptians while the rest of the people run for the far
shore. Suspense mounts, as does a several hundred-foot tower of water
returning to its course while multiple tornadoes (actually
waterspouts) form. After a command from Moses, his men retreat and he
alone confronts Ramses. Both are wiped out by the monstrous wave, and
both make it to opposite shores alive. Nobody else does.
I
know. I hear you saying, “But…but…but?” And you have a right
to say it. But this is how the story was told this time. Moses was a
violent warrior up until this moment. Now he acknowledges the Hebrews
as his people. And under the watchful eye of the child (God – who
by the way is uncredited) he (Moses) carves the Ten Commandments into
stone, they are put in a rudimentary Ark of the Covenant and, with
Zipporah and his son Gersham, Moses and his people ride off to the
Promised Land.
Two
and an half hours since the movie began I’ve shifted in my seat
three times thinking, “This could have been done better…that was
too long…I would like to have seen this.” But then, I’m not the
director. Parents, keep in mind the extreme violence in this movie.
Ramses literally hangs whole families for each day that the
Israelites do not surrender Moses to him. Moses slays both spies with
one sword thrust. The bloodiness is not concealed or glossed over.
Maybe there will be one Oscar nomination for this movie, but it won’t
be for acting. Even Kingsley was under his game, and I didn’t even
know Weaver (one of my all-time favorites) was on screen. I’m just
glad there was no hint at a sequel.
Rating:
2 out of 5 Martini glasses.
Gran
Morsi
22
Warren Street (Bet. Church and Broadway), New
York
“Large
Bites” is how the name translates from the Italian and it describes
the “elegant simplicity” of this downtown eatery. A simple
asparagus green awning with white lettering shades the white
wood-framed windows outside; but inside, all is white (ceiling and
walls) except for one open brick wall, bare wood tables, and hardwood
floors, and lit by inconspicuous glass-globed swags. The only
ostentatious decorations are the word “Morsi”
on one rear-facing wall done in marquee-style lighting and the rear
wall, which sports a mural of greenery.
The
young lady at the Captain’s Station led me to a single table near
the back from which I could see that about half of the 20 or so
tables were occupied. Soon Zachary, my server appeared and greeted
me, presenting me with the menu and wine and drink list and taking my
tap water preference. I ordered the cocktail called “22 Berretta”
because it sounded interesting – gin, homemade limoncello, port
wine, and Prosecco (Italian champagne). It was sweet, slightly lemony
and smooth, like the gun it was named after.
The
menu was simplicity in itself. Only five categories: Morsi (14 of
them), Pasta (5), Parmigiana (3), Grand Morsi (4) and Pizza (4). I
explained to Zachary that I wanted to make a three-course meal from
this list and he made a few suggestions that were right in keeping
with my ideas. I chose the 2011 Villa Antinori “Super” Tuscan
wine for the meal and let Zachary know that I had plenty of time and
not to rush anything. Then he was off to put in my order.
At
this point I feel I need to explain something to my readers. Yes, I
am a big fan of both Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck and love their
interactions in all their various cartoons. But I also love eating
both rabbit and duck and I count this as a tribute to my favorite
cartoon characters. That said, and after the first glass of the
beautiful garnet-colored wine, which said me that I’m going to love
everything with it, we start with the first course.
The
Artichokes Alla Romana were tender, tasty pieces of artichoke
sizzling in their own iron skillet on a plate, and sending up aromas
of olive oil and garlic along with pecorino Romano cheese. Two slices
of toasted ciabatta bread protruded from the skillet
like two ears and made the nearly invisible liquid easier to soak up.
It was heavenly. Zachary warned me about the oven-hot skillet and he
wasn’t joking. This dish never cooled down.
Next
it was Rabbit Season. The Rabbit Sweet Potato Gnocchi with porcini
mushrooms, chestnuts and caciotta al tartufo (a
semi-soft cheese infused with black truffles) was a new twist on a
familiar dish. Gnocchi, usually made from potatoes were delicate and
sweet but not overpowering, as sometimes sweet potatoes can be and
the shredded rabbit meat filling as well as small pieces of meat was
more a surprise than an inclusion. Everything was delightful about
this dish. The pasta melted in the mouth, the chestnuts provided a
country crunch and the mushrooms combined with the cheese, a hearty,
foresty flavor. The portion was not small but not dinner-sized
either, easily managed.
The
main course was from the Parmigiana section of the menu. (Girls, hold
onto your boyfriends!) The Muscovy Duck Breast Parmigiana on dates,
porto (again, the wine), and roasted Brussels sprouts (halved) was
unbelievable by itself, but the Tallegio cheese on top increased the
normally strong flavor of the duck and added a smoky, aged accent
that almost made me forget my Tuscan wine. It was amazing.
With
every morsi finished I was ready for dessert. Zachary started listing
them and I stopped him at the second item. The Chocolate Bread
Pudding with chocolate gelato and cherries dipped in chocolate sauce
sounded like a grand way to end the meal. Unfortunately, it was the
only disappointment. The gelato and cherries and chocolate sauce were
divine, but the bread pudding was almost dry, very dense, tasting
like it was made with cocoa powder and generally unappetizing. I took
two bites, finished the gelato and cherries and left the rest. I felt
the need to explain to Zachary how spoiled I was with bread pudding
in general since my trip to Brennan’s in New Orleans (Best in the
World, so far). I suggested that they add bourbon to the recipe but
that wouldn’t make up for the lack of chocolate flavor.
All
in all, I had a great experience at Gran Morsi and I would definitely
return there with friends to try other dishes or even for a repeat of
the same. Considering they’re open only three months, they’re
doing fine. Oh, and next time I’ll try to get a seat on the
banquettes lining the wall. The café chairs are not too comfortable.
No comments:
Post a Comment