By Ed Garea
Girls
on Probation (WB,
1938) - Director: William C. McGann. Writer: Crane Wilbur (s/p).
Cast: Jane Bryan, Ronald Reagan, Anthony Averill, Sheila Bromley,
Henry O’Neill, Elisabeth Risdon, Sig Ruman, Dorothy Peterson, Susan
Hayward, & Esther Dale. B&W, 63 minutes.
What
a title! It sounds like something out of an old SCTV sketch; but
there it is in all its B-glory. Warner’s used their Bs to test and
develop new talent, in this case Bryan and Reagan, whom the studio
was grooming for hopefully bigger and better things. While it was
hoped Reagan would stand out in the film, it was actually Bryan who
carried it. But, though her performance is decent, and helps make
this potboiler worth watching, it exposes her limited acting range.
Bryan
is Connie Heath, an attractive, cheerful, and bright young woman who
works in the office of a cleaning and dyeing firm. Her boss has
maximum confidence in her abilities, often keeping her overtime to go
over others’ mistakes with the books. Connie is staying late one
night, going over the mistakes committed by her co-worker and good
friend, Hilda Engstrom (Bromley). While Connie corrects the errors,
Hilda wiles away the time on the phone speaking with her boyfriend,
who we will later meet. Connie and Hilda make for quite an odd
couple: Connie is buttoned-down while Hilda is easy and totally
sleazy.
Hilda
accompanies Connie home and both talk about Connie going with Hilda
to a dance at the Hula House. Alas, Connie doesn’t have a decent
dress. At Connie’s place, she, Hilda and Connie’s mother (Risdon)
attempt to make do with an old party dress, but it’s just no use.
Then Father, played by Ruman in his usual hammy style, comes home. He
wants (a) dinner, and (b) to know who is upstairs with Connie. When
Mother tells him it’s Hilda, Father blows a gasket as only a ham
actor can. Hilda is no good, he bellows, and a bad influence on
Connie. Hilda leaves, but not before enticing Connie to go to the
club with a dress she “borrows” from work. As a
character-establishing scene, it’s poor. Ruman is allowed to run
amok and McGann clearly has no idea of how to proceed. But we also
get a good look at Father’s character, that of an absolute
autocrat, no room for negotiation. It’s his way or the highway.
From his manner, one would think he was playing a Prussian general
from the 19th century.
We
now pick it up at the Hula House, supposedly a ritzy joint, and
Connie and Hilda are enjoying themselves immensely. Far from swanky,
the place is our typical Warner Brothers nightclub, swanked out with
faux Hawaiian props to make it look different. It looks like the
place - minus the props - where Bette Davis and Bryan entertained
themselves in Marked Woman. Also hoofing it up at the
club are Neil Dillon (Reagan) and his date, snobbish Gloria Adams
(Hayward). Gloria gets one look at Connie’s dress and identifies it
as hers, one she took to the cleaners. Are you sure, asks Neil? Yes,
she’s sure, but Neil insists Gloria wait and see if the dress she
sent to from cleaners is there when she calls to pick it up.
Unfortunately
for Connie, she tears the dress exiting from the taxi. Hilda does a
quickie repair when she gets it back to the shop the next day, but
upon a cursory inspection, Gloria notices the repair work and makes
waves, lots of them. Connie is fired and Neil, who works as an
attorney for the insurance company covering the dress, tells Connie
it was larceny and that he has to prosecute both Connie and Hilda.
But Neil has a soft spot for Connie (the film was made back when
Reagan was a liberal) and pays off the cost of the dress so the girls
don’t have to end up in court. When Father finds out why his
daughter no longer works at the cleaners, he shows his tenderness by
slapping Connie in the face, calls her a liar, and throws her out of
the house.
Connie
moves to another town, where she finds work as a secretary, and, out
of her first paycheck, mails Neil a payment. As she mails the letter,
she runs into - naturally - her old pal Hilda. After the perfunctory
how-do-you-dos, she and Hilda argue about Hilda writing a letter
absolving Connie of guilt in the famous case of the stolen dress.
Hilda wants no part of such a letter, but before she can argue
further, her old boyfriend, Bad News Tony (Averill), comes bounding
out of the nearby bank with a gun and the bank’s money. He forces
Connie into the car as Hilda, quickly behind the wheel, peels out. A
young boy selling movie magazines conveniently witnesses the entire
scene, and we know it’s just a matter of time until he rides to
Connie’s rescue.
The
three of them lead the cops on a merry chase. Hilda breaks out the
back window and begins firing at the cops until Connie wrests the gun
from her and points it at Tony, forcing him to pull over so they can
be arrested. Connie gives a false name to the authorities, lest her
identity be discovered (especially by Father). As there exists no
independent evidence to corroborate her story, and after a trial
quite unlike any I have ever seen ensues, with lawyers ignoring the
rules of the court by breaking into open debate. Connie, amid all
manner of unlawyerly shenanigans, is sent to the big house, where she
runs right into - you guessed it - Hilda. And get a load of that
prison! A happier place I couldn’t imagine, stocked with every
prison stereotype the producers could find. It seems as if the ladies
were sent there for bad acting. Anyway, Hilda turns Connie into a
virtual slave by threatening to write and tell Father what she’s
been up to (I’d like to get Connie in a poker game, she bluffs so
easily) until Connie can’t take any more and the two get into the
obligatory catfight.
Here
the film almost ceases being a drama and turns into one of those
shorts usually seen before the main feature, and which exclaims the
virtues of some government function or other. In this case, it’s
the probation department. Connie is spared from serving time through
the intervention of sympathetic (aren’t they all?) probation
officer Jane Lennox (Peterson), who gives Connie a cheery summary of
how probation works. Jane has even found the newsboy who witnessed
the bank robbery and brings him to testify before the judge, who in
turn grants Connie probation. Hilda, on the other hand, gets a 1-to-5
stretch while Tony gets 10-to-15.
Connie
goes home and looks up the nice, young Neil. He’s now the Deputy
District Attorney, and is still smitten with Connie, so much so that
he hires her as his secretary. Of course, Neil has no idea about
Connie’s past and she isn’t about to tell him. Time passes. Neil
and Connie begin dating. This leads to a totally useless sidebar
scene with Father. Now that Connie’s living back home, she must
obey Father. When Neil comes around, Pops asks about his intentions
toward his daughter with a suspicious tone. Neil’s answer that he
hopes to marry Connie causes Pops to become overjoyed and he
immediately blabs all to the family (Neil hasn’t even asked Connie
yet!) and tells them that he has always liked this young man. We can
readily ascertain that this scene is only being included to pad out
the length of the film.
Cut
to Connie in Neil’s office. Now . . . who should saunter in but -
have you guessed? - Hilda! Hilda is like gum on Connie’s shoe. Try
as she might, Connie can’t shed her. Hilda tells Connie about her
parole and learns about Connie’s engagement. She asks her favorite
victim if Neil’s been informed about her past. Finally tired of
Hilda (about time), Connie confesses all to Neil, who, being the
white knight he is, forgives all.
Meanwhile,
we cut to Tony and his prison buddies about to make their escape.
Armed to the teeth (I can see them having a pistol, but a shotgun?),
their bust-out is pure hokum (worthy of a viewing on Mystery
Science Theater 3000), intercut with stock footage from other
Warner Brothers’ prison films. I loved it when Tony, on the wall
after his compatriots have been killed, somehow escapes being shot
from almost point blank range, and jumps from the top of the wall
into the river. We know he’ll get away - the picture’s not over
yet.
So,
just when it looks as if Connie’s seen the last of Hilda, up she
pops again. She’s been caring for Tony, who scrammed to her place
after his escape. Now threatening to tell the District Attorney
himself about Connie’s past, she wants dough to stay quiet and get
out of town. Connie acquiesces, but, being as this is taking place
after-hours in the ‘30s, the banks closed and there are no ATM
machines. However, there is one place to get money that’s open all
night, so Hilda tells Connie to pawn her engagement ring. Connie
offers to give it to Hilda, but Hilda’s too smart for that one. She
makes Connie come with her so she can’t drop a dime to the cops.
While Hilda waits in the car, Connie negotiates the sale of her ring
and also gives the pawnbroker a note, telling him to call Neil. He,
in turn, calls the police and they arrive at Hilda’s place just
before she can enter her apartment. Hearing the cops, Tony shoots
wildly through the door, hitting no one but Hilda - of course. Tony
is then dispatched by a hail of gunfire and Connie is at last free of
Hilda, with the final scene one of Hilda receiving the last rites as
she’s loaded into an ambulance.
By
any standard, this is a lackluster effort. Bryan, then being groomed
by the studio for bigger and better things, displays an amazing lack
of range, one she would never shed until her retirement. It seems
that Jane could only be effective playing sickly-sweet dames. We
wonder just how far she would have gone at Warner’s if she hadn’t
married Walgreens executive Justin Dart. Reagan, for his part, came
across in this film as if he was heavily medicated. Why the studio
hired Ruman for the part of Roger Heath, Connie's dad, is beyond me.
Maybe they thought in a film this mediocre no one would notice or
care. As Hilda, Bromley comes close to stealing the picture, and if
that was all she did, she would get probation for petty theft.
Averill never rose above the Bs. In fact, when he left acting, he was
well on his way to features in Poverty Row. Probably the best
performance came from young Hayward in her brief turn as Neil’s
bitchy girlfriend at the nightclub and who sets in motion the entire
plot.
Longtime
Warner’s B-unit director William McGann directed the film at a
hectic pace, reminiscent of an exploitation film. It has all the
elements as her best friend leads the pure-as-snow heroine down the
path to degradation. Note that in the bank robbery scene, the heroine
is trapped by circumstance into the criminal world. All one needs is
drugs or sex to complete the chain; we already have jail. But it
didn’t matter to Jack Warner, for producer Bryan Foy made sure it
contained all Warner’s favorite themes: social conditions that led
to crime, criminal rehabilitation and confidence in the pros and cons
of the justice system.
Crane
Wilbur, who wrote Girls on Probation, was no stranger to
the exploitation genre, having previously written Alcatraz
Island (1937), Crime School (1938),
Blackwell’s Island (1939), and Hell’s
Kitchen (1939). He would later write screenplays for Roger
Touhy, Gangster (1944), He Walked By
Night (1948), Women’s Prison (1950), The
Phenix City Story (1955), and House of Women (1962).
He also directed 37 features, many of them in the exploitation genre.
All
in all, Girls on Probation is a hoot to watch, due
to the presence of Bryan, Bromley, and Reagan and its sheer
overwrought screenplay. It rarely rambles and seems even shorter than
its 63-minute running time. As with many of the Warner Brothers
“social commentary” films, Girls on Probation begins
with a weighty prologue informing us that for some women probation
was the only thing standing between happiness and degradation. This
is absolutely hilarious in light of the fact in the film that Connie
is going to marry Ronnie Reagan. Which could be worse: stir or
Reagan?
Memorable
Dialogue
Hilda
to the priest before she’s loaded into the ambulance after being
shot: “Pretty soon I’ll be seeing your boss!”
Hilarious
Scenes
At
the end of the bank robbery scene, as the car pulls away, the cops
fire wildly into the crowd as they try to hit the car.
Watch
for the scene where the detective babbles half of his lines to the
party on the other end on the phone after taking
the receiver away from his mouth.
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