Dinner
and a Movie
San Andreas Goes Up in Smoke
By Steve Herte
San Andreas Goes Up in Smoke
By Steve Herte
As
Helene would joyously say to me, “You’re on vacation!”
She always got excited about being free from work and wondered why I
wasn’t as excited as she was. Seriously, if I’m not traveling
somewhere, vacation is merely a different kind of work from my
normal occupation. People say that they fear retirement because they
don’t know what they will “do” when they have all the
time in the world. These must be mostly apartment dwellers or
slackers. The basement in my house is what the attic would look like
in other houses. The accumulated junk of 50 years is down there and
it has to be organized and either be thrown out, or sold. In a word,
clutter.
That’s
my project this vacation week and any other time at home this year.
I’m taking a “before” photo to remind myself of what it
should never become again and an “after’ photo when (and
if) I finish. Oh, don’t get me wrong; my “vacation” will
not be all work and no play. It will be, as Helene would say, “work
that justifies play.” I have two karaoke sessions, two dinners,
one luncheon and a possible trip to the zoo planned as well, so
don’t start the “poor Steve” chants yet.
Which
brings me to my dinner and a movie. It was a fun adventure
in many ways. Read on and see why. Enjoy!
San
Andreas (WB, 2015) - Director: Brad Peyton.
Writers: Carlton Cuse (s/p), Andre Fabrizio & Jeremy Passmore
(story). Stars: Duane Johnson, Carla Gugino, Alexandra Daddario,
Ioan Gruffudd, Archie Panjabi, Paul Giamatti, Hugo Johnstone-Burt,
Art Parkinson, Will Yun Lee, Kylie Minogue, Colton Haynes, Todd
Williams, Matt Gerald, Alec Utgoff, & Marissa
Neitling. Color, 114 minutes, PG-13.
A
young girl is driving the mountain roads of California doing
everything but paying attention to her driving – digging into her
purse, reading texts, just missing on-coming traffic, listening to
her tunes. Suddenly, a small avalanche happens and she goes
plummeting off the cliff, somersaulting bumper over bumper until the
car wedges in some rocks a few hundred feet from the bottom. The
audience gets outside, as well as inside, views of her fall, and
somehow (Hollywood magic) she’s alive and in the improbable
position of wheels down and facing up the sheer escarpment.
She
calls for help on her cell phone, remarkably getting reception and
soon Ray Gaines (Johnson) and his helicopter rescue crew are on the
scene carrying an extra passenger, Serena Johnson (Panjabi) a local
TV news reporter. The crevasse is too narrow for a vertical descent
and they have to “Tip the Hat,” actually seesaw back and forth
to get close enough to send down a rescue line. The girl is saved
just in the nick of time after the winch motor blows out and just
before the car plunges down the rest of the way.
Thus
begins the first true blockbuster disaster movie of the year.
Ray,
we learn, has split up with his wife Emma (Gugino) after the
accidental death of one of their daughters in a rafting accident.
Emma is in the process of “moving on” with their other daughter
Blake (Daddario) as she moves in with boyfriend Daniel Riddick
(Gruffudd), a rich entrepreneur currently building the most
earthquake-proof high-rise in San Francisco. Ray is slightly miffed
that she didn’t tell him, but he’s here to bring his daughter
her bicycle to take on trip from Los Angeles to San Francisco.
Meanwhile,
at Cal-Tech, Dr. Lawrence Hayes (Giamatti) and Dr. Kim Park (Lee)
have developed software that can accurately predict earthquakes by
tracking clusters of small seismic activity. Dr. Park wants to test
the software at Hoover Dam in Nevada where these clusters are
currently occurring. Their tests succeed beyond their wildest dreams
but their wildest nightmare soon replaces their joy as the tremors
jump from 2.2 on the Richter scale to 7.1 and Hoover Dam proceeds to
shatter. Dr. Hayes on top of the dam survives but Dr. Park impales
his foot on a protruding rebar and goes down with the demolished
dam.
To
honor his lost colleague, Dr. Hayes decides to go public with their
discovery and calls in Serena Johnson and her news team.
Dan
and Blake fly to San Francisco in his private plane and he explains
that he knows he can never – and would never try – to take her
father’s place. They arrive at his office building where Dan
leaves Blake to conduct some business. It’s here she meets Ben
Taylor (Johnstone-Burt), an English applicant for an engineer’s
job with his younger brother Ollie (Parkinson). Ollie can see that
Ben and Blake are “clicking” and performing the best yenta
routine I’ve seen since Dolly Levy.
Back
in Los Angeles, Emma is at a rooftop party and discussing Dan with
his sister Susan Riddick (Minogue) when the second earthquake
happens. I’m reminded that this is a Warner Brothers movie when
Emma tries opening a door to a stairway and sees nothing but a shear
drop with people falling to the street below. (“Don’t go down
there, it’s dark!” Bugs Bunny.) And talk about getting out of
the kitchen if you can’t stand the heat! When Emma reverses
direction to climb the stairs to the roof (per Ray’s instructions
when she calls him), she sees the cook, who has been set ablaze
because he stayed in the kitchen too long.
Ray
manages another nick of time rescue with his helicopter but falling
buildings nick his chopper enough to cause him and Emma to crash
land. After stealing a pick-up truck from gun-wielding looters, the
two start on the long journey to San Francisco to retrieve Blake.
Dr.
Hayes and his team calculate correctly that a spur in the Pacific
tectonic plate links the quakes in Nevada and Los Angeles and that
the tremors are traveling up the coast to San Francisco. One young
member hacks into the news media system and they set up a special
broadcast from Cal Tech to warn citizens of San Francisco to
evacuate, NOW!
The
first tremors hit San Francisco when Blake and Dan are in his car in
the parking garage. A piece of the ceiling gives way crushing the
driver and pinning Blake. Dan gets out, claims he’s going for help
and that he’ll return soon, but that’s all bunk. He’s running
away. In his flight, he passes Ben and Ollie, who rightly
conclude that he’s left Blake in the parking garage. Using the car
jack and puncturing the tires, they free Blake and the trio
escape to relative safety. Blake knows her father would seek her on
high ground and they use Ollie’s guidebook to find Coit Tower.
Ray
and Emma are blocked by a huge, bottomless rent in the ground
leading north. Meeting an elderly tourist couple on the way, Ray
notices the cap the old man is wearing, advertising an airfield. The
foursome drives to the airfield, the old couple gets the truck and
Ray and Emma find, gas up, and fly out in a small, two-seater plane.
But, there’s nowhere to land in San Francisco and Ray sees AT&T
Stadium below. He straps on a parachute and tandem jumps with his
terrified wife, landing lightly on second base. (BEST LINE IN THE
MOVIE!) “It’s been a long time since I got you to second
base,” Ray says.
Well,
the Coit Tower hill fires make it inaccessible, Blake and her group
head for Knob Hill, and Emma and Ray commandeer a small boat
(actually two steps up from a Zodiac) to hopefully circumvent the
damaged hill. Ben meanwhile has been the only one in San Francisco
or Los Angeles to receive a deep wound in his thigh from a piece of
falling glass. (How fortunate for everybody else!) Ben, Blake and
Ollie make it to Dan’s new earthquake-proof building (still under
construction) and take care of Ben’s leg.
Ray
and Emma have a different problem. A second quake of 9.6 rating has
caused a tsunami heading for the Golden Gate Bridge. (The Bay Bridge
was taken out by the first quake, only a 9.1) This would have been
Helene’s favorite scene. All the boats in San Francisco Bay
(including Ray’s) are racing to climb the tsunami before it
breaks. Several topple off. Just as Ray says, “We’re gonna make
it” an enormous container ship looms overhead dropping containers
as it goes. Miraculously, they make it past the ship.
The
ship is carried vertically by the wave like a ridiculous surfboard
as it heads toward the Golden Gate Bridge. And who is caught dead
center on the bridge? Our friend Dan! He looks at the oncoming
behemoth like Wile E. Coyote noticing the train about to hit his
explosives shack. Only Dan hasn’t got a shade to pull down. I told
you this was a Warner Brothers movie.
San
Andreas is a good blockbuster film, not a great movie, but
fun to watch. The dialogue is often corny (“Now…we rebuild.”
Ray’s last line in the movie.), the backgrounds are obviously
green-screen and there are several unbelievable moments. But in 3D
it’s a thrill ride without having to get sick on a roller coaster.
Dwayne Johnson is still learning his craft. He almost sheds a tear
when speaking about his first daughter’s accident, but not quite.
Alexandra Daddario does a marvelously convincing drowning scene
while Dad watches helplessly behind a reinforced plate glass window.
Carla Gugino waxes and wanes between reality and cartoon behavior –
I would have fallen on the floor laughing if the small pontoon boat
Emma charged at the window separating her from her daughter just
bounced off with a loud “Boing!” instead of shattering it. Paul
Giamatti, on the other hand was excellent – totally credible.
The
soundtrack and music are both remarkable and appropriate throughout
and the direction of Brad Peyton was flawless. The hundreds of
extras all knew when to fall down on cue. One of my favorite scenes
was when a San Francisco street cracks open and the far side heaves
up high enough to expel a subway train into the throngs of running
people.
Say
what you will about this film, it has action galore and only slows
down periodically to let you catch your breath and peer at the
astounding results. I loved it.
Rating: 4 out of 5 Martini
glasses.
Blue
Smoke
255
Vesey St. (between West Street and North End Avenue), New
York
If,
in following my reviews you’ve noticed that I’ve never reviewed
a barbecue restaurant, there’s a reason. Many of them are just
plain awful, easily surpassed by my brother-in-law’s “burnt
offerings” on Memorial Day weekend. True, flavorful barbecue
requires time, loving care, and research. My benchmark is Virgil’s
Barbecue, on 44th Street between 6th Avenue
and Broadway. The chef there scours the “barbecue states” for
different recipes and accurately reproduces them on his menu. He
also entitles each dish with the honorific name of the state that
produced the recipe.
Blue
Smoke celebrates the barbecue styles of the Southern states from the
Carolinas to Texas, and the two-location chain has been in existence
since 2002. The flagship restaurant is in the Gramercy Park area on
27th Street and the new one in Battery
Park City opened in 2012. The New Orleans touch was added to the
recipes when Chef Jean-Paul Bourgeois took charge.
I
have been curious about Blue Smoke for a while now and when they
appeared on Opentable.com and were convenient to the movie theater,
I made the reservation. Not only were they convenient, they were on
the same block as the movie theater, no rush for me at all. I just
descended the escalators, went outside a short distance and rounded
the corner.
The
gray façade of the building housing Blue Smoke links them with the
Mexican restaurant El Vez (Love it!). The only distinction is the
red neon for El Vez and the bright blue neon of Blue Smoke. There is
a sidewalk café under the burnt orange awnings and most of the
inner restaurant is open to the street, making serving patrons
easier. Inside, the bar is to the left facing a wall of cordwood
with slate gray tables in between. Wisely, knowing how messy
barbecue food is, there are no tablecloths and the napkins are a
heavier grade of linen.
I
had the choice of sitting outdoors or waiting for a table indoors
and I chose the latter. The table I was seated at was definitely
indoors, but faced a window completely open to the street.
Thankfully, no flies came in.
Lexi,
my perky server, took my water preference and presented me with the
menu card and wine and drink book. After consulting her on the
difference between the “Midtown Mule” – mellow corn whiskey,
Beach Plum Gin liqueur, ginger beer and lime - and “Only Smokes
When She Drinks” – mezcal, aperol, Bénédictine, lime – I
chose the second. The name of the cocktail was intriguing enough,
but when Lexi told me that the first one was sweeter, that sold me.
The smoky flavor of the Bénédictine combined with the mezcal
proved it was a drink appropriate to the name of the restaurant.
The
menu featured “Snacks,” “Starters” and “Mains,” “From
the pit” and “Vegetables and sides.” With Lexi to guide me, I
chose a snack, a starter, something from “the pit,” and a side.
I needed no help with the wine. The list by the glass was impressive
but so were the prices on the bottles. I chose a 2010 Wild Hog
Zinfandel, Nova Vineyards, Lake County, Sonoma California. Its
tangy, fruity but full-bodied flavor told me that whatever I chose
to eat would be fine and dandy with the wine.
The warm barbecue potato chips
with a bleu cheese and bacon dip caught my eye first but then I saw
the deviled eggs. “What could possibly be special about deviled
eggs?” I asked Lexi. “I like them. They’re kind of spicy!”
OK, let’s go with the eggs. They were very prettily prepared and
presented, but spicy? No. My brother’s deviled eggs have more
mustard in the mix. They were good, but not what I expected.
“He
was a bold man that first ate an oyster,” from Jonathan Swift, was
written on the coaster on which my water bottle rested. It inspired
me to try the roasted oysters – smoked garlic butter,
green onions. The quartet of West Coast oysters (the small ones) on
the half shell rested on a bed of sea salt and were a lovely golden
brown. Good for neonate oyster eaters because you couldn’t see the
actual denizens of the shells. They were good, garlicky and tasted
like there should have been six.
Lexi
informed me that my main course would be an impressive amount of
meat and, seeing several patrons leaving with doggie bags I thought,
why not? The “Rhapsody In ‘Cue” consisted of spare ribs,
pulled pork (in hot smoked vinegar), backyard chicken,
and black pepper sausage. It was truly appetizing to
look at and had an enticing aroma. My side dish, collard greens with
potlikker (the juice left behind by cooking the collards) was served
in its own ceramic crock and was cut in long strips. It done
perfectly and was slightly crunchy.
Remember
what I said about barbecue in my first paragraphs? My main course
told me one thing – made beforehand and not fresh off the grill.
The pulled pork was nicely vinegary and smoky, but not all the way
through. It rapidly became dry and uninteresting (the batch I had in
Milford, Connecticut, was much, much better). The chicken was
gorgeously browned on the outside but slightly overcooked and dry on
the inside. The spare ribs (three bones) were beautifully blackened
outside and I expected a sweeter taste, but didn’t get it. They
were also on the overcooked and approaching dry side.
The black pepper sausage (a half slice) was cooked to
almost toughness. Now I know why I don’t do barbecue often. Are
they sure the chef is from New Orleans? Maybe I should have had
the beignets.
I
think that that may have been the right thing to do because the
fresh blueberry pie with lemon balm ice cream was so dreamy I
started to eat it before remembering to take a picture of it. As
Blue Smoke touts having 27 bourbons, I chose to have the Flight of
Five – Breckinridge, Basil Hayden’s, Blue Smoke Single Barrel 8
Year, Bulleit 10 Year, and Bookers – instead of coffee. It was
another good choice; they were fantastic.
If
I ever decide to return to Blue Smoke I believe I will only try the
dishes with the word “fresh” in the title. Maybe I’ll try one
of their impressive list of beers. Per another coaster, “Beer is
proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” – Benjamin
Franklin though there is no proof he ever said that.
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