Dinner
and a Movie
By
Steve Herte
Middle
School: The Worst Years of My Life (CBS Films,
2016) – Director: Steve Carr. Writers: Chris Bowman, Hubbel Palmer
& Kara Holden (s/p). James Patterson, Chris Tebbets (based on the
book by). Stars: Griffin Gluck, Lauren Graham, Alexa Nisenson, Andrew
Daly, Thomas Barbusca, Retta, Rob Riggle, Adam Pally, Luke Hardeman,
Jessi Goei, Jacob Hopkins, Patrick Fagan, Isabella Moner, Isabella
Amara, Madeleine Stack, & Efren Ramirez. Color, Rated PG, 92
minutes.
Variety’s review
of this film included Francois Truffaut’s sagacious observation
that adolescence leaves pleasant memories only for adults who cannot
remember. I believe it. My schooling did not involve a Middle School
per se but I do remember my experiences from sixth to eighth grades
in my Elementary School. They weren’t the worst years of my life,
but I wouldn’t want to repeat them.
This realistic
fiction, based on the book by James Patterson and Chris Tebbets, reminisces Patterson’s time in Middle School. Hills Village Middle
School represents the last chance for Rafe Katchadorian (Gluck), a
sixth grader who has been expelled from several other
schools. His mother Jules (Graham) works double shifts at a diner and
considers herself a sous-chef. She also worries about him a lot,
realizing that not having his father around (the film was not clear
on where or when he disappeared) has affected his social skills.
That, plus the loss of his younger brother to cancer probably
contributes to his antics.
His sister Georgia
(Nisenson) argues with him, providing and gives additional unwanted
motherly advice despite Jules’ requests to leave the mothering job
to her. If this weren’t bad enough, Mom is dating a self-centered
loser named Carl (Riggle) whose hairiness provides the children a few
laughs. Rafe’s only friend is Leo the Silent (Barbusca), and he’s
imaginary (though this fact is not immediately apparent in the
movie). His passion is drawing caricatures. He keeps a sketchbook
with him at all times containing various cartoon characters he’s
created and their adventures, languages and travels. He’s put a
great amount of time into developing it.
Rafe’s first
encounter with the obsessive Principal Dwight (Daly) is at the front
door of the school where he’s informed of his breaking the dress
code – too many bright colors, no floral prints. How obsessive is
Dwight with winning on the test scores? He has a tall number one
topiary sculpture planted in front of the school to represent the
school’s consistent ranking on the B.L.A.A.R.T. test. When he sees
the student body lined up like convicts in a prison, Rafe realizes
something’s really wrong with this school, especially when Vice
Principal Ida Stricker (Retta) tells him in no uncertain terms to
stop loitering in the halls. He also meets the class bully Miller the
Killer (Hopkins), who sits behind him in homeroom, kicks his chair,
threatens him and refuses to pronounce his name correctly. The only
relief from this is in his homeroom teacher, Mr. Teller (Pally), who
recognizes Rafe’s talent for drawing and is somewhat of a rebel
himself.
At a student body
meeting to elect a class president, Rafe develops his first crush on
Jeanne Galetta (Moner). Her platform is more leeway for the students
and less rules, and he’s the only one who applauds her as Principal
Dwight hurries her away from the microphone. But when he’s caught
sketching in the assembly, Dwight destroys his sketchbook in the
dreaded “yellow bucket” filled with acid. This drives him and Leo
to set in motion Operation R.A.F.E. (Rules Aren’t For Everyone) and
to break every rule in the book he was handed by Principal Dwight on
the first day. The pranks are some of the funniest moments in the
movie and include papering the principal’s office and school halls
with colorful Post-It notes, putting pink hair dye in Dwight’s
fedora, filling a utility closet with multicolored balls, and
injecting blue, red and yellow dye into the fire sprinkler system
before setting it off.
Though a comedy,
this movie has some sensitive, emotional scenes and at the same time
makes a statement about pigeon-holing children with standardized
tests. It addresses bullying and unfair practices as well as not
allowing children to be children. It skirts the scary and potentially
dangerous issue of the “acid bucket” with clever dialogue. Scenes
seesaw from reality to the imaginative animations in Rafe’s
sketchbook, which are as real to him as his family. The animated
scene where Carl becomes Bear is hilarious.
Andy Daly’s
over-the-top acting keeps his character from being a hateful villain
and modulates it into a strict but silly obsessive. Alexa Nisenson is
a convincing crier and a great little sister. Rob Riggles succeeds in
creating the guy you’d love to hit with an anvil. Griffin Gluck
plays the perfect straight man to the unpredictable Thomas Barbusca.
At only one hour and
32 minutes long, the film is well timed, has no dead spots and has
great forward motion. I never shifted in my seat. If you’re a
student, teacher or a principal you will not find any of it
offensive, only entertaining, and you’ll probably breathe a sigh of
relief knowing your school’s not like this one. I enjoyed it so
much I never expected the final plot twist.
Rating:
3½
out of 5 Martini glasses.
Mastro’s
Steakhouse
1285 Avenue of
the Americas, New York
“An
unparalleled dining experience!” So boasts the website of this
two-year-old New York steakhouse with a Broadway-style entrance,
ablaze in bluish-white neon.
Inside is a large space with dark walls,
a chic bar on the left flanked by faux marble columns and tables with
white tablecloths and little electric lamps with gold shades. As I confirmed my
reservation, I was directed to a table toward the back of the long
room with a comfortable leather banquette which (surprise!) had an
armrest. I had heard live music and could see a trio off to my right
playing mellow rock and swing style at just the right volume. I was
charmed.
Soon my server Paolo
arrived, oozing confidence and foodie knowledge and smiling
conspiratorially while describing the intimacies of the menu. He
presented me with the food menu and wine list, both bound in brown
leather (matching the banquette).
When he returned I
ordered a Beefeater martini. He acknowledged having all the
ingredients and dashed off to the bar, returning to stir and pour my
martini at the table. He noted that there would be more in the shaker
once the glass was filled and how I was to hold it to pour the
remainder. Nice touch, but unfortunately, even with the personal
attention, it was more than a little watered down and didn’t have
that familiar kick.
I told Paolo that I
intended to have two appetizers and a main course. He recommended my
choosing the wine first so that he could uncork it and give it time
to breathe by my first course. I chose the 2013 Rosenblum Cellars
Zinfandel from Contra Costa County, California. It was a beautiful
wine with a delicate nose but a disappointing lack in body. It wasn’t
bad, it just wasn’t what I expect of a zinfandel. It worked with
every course but didn’t speak for itself.
The two appetizers
arrived within minutes of each other. The king crab stuffed mushrooms
were served in a little silver frying pan along with a lemon half in
yellow netting. They were delightful. The crab meat was only slightly
hashed and not pulverized and the mushroom caps were tender with a
slight crunch. The second appetizer was one Paolo tempted me with and
won: a slab of maple bacon, fully 10 inches long and three-quarters
of an inch thick with a maple sauce drizzled over it and a small
cress salad.
Paolo confided that
he would leave time for these dishes to “settle” before bringing
out the main course, an 8-ounce filet mignon with its blanket of
truffle butter in the middle of its plate and sautéed wild mushrooms
(Shiitake, Cremini, and Porto Bello) next to it. The mushrooms were a
mix of and were cooked to perfection losing none of their individual
earthy characters. The filet was seared nicely on the outside and my
kind of rare on the inside, juicy and tender. This was one time the
meal outshone the wine.
As I had room for
dessert, I ordered the pecan pie a la mode, a wedge that looked
like a quarter of a pie and was crowned with a tennis ball of vanilla
ice cream drizzled with caramel and served with gobs of fresh whipped
cream. I had to take part of the pie home, but it was good.
Mastro’s is my
98th steakhouse and was impressive in its way. But though it’s
chic, has live music, both the food and service are excellent, it
doesn’t quite come up to my benchmark steakhouse. Uncle Jack’s
still reigns supreme. I would gladly return to Mastro’s to try
several other menu items, but I’ll be more careful of the wine
ordering and more specific in my cocktail.
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