The Balade of Robocop
By Steve Herte
You’ve
probably heard the quote from Robert Burns’ poem “...the
best laid plans of mice and men gang aft agley.” Well choosing a
movie last Friday proved it. I wanted to see either “Son of
God” or “A Winter’s Tale” but neither was playing at
convenient times, and the former is two hours and 18 minutes long. So
I turned to my third choice, and it surprised me. Working where I
work I often say that nothing surprises me, but every day, something
does. It’s the same with somebody doing something you consider
dumb. There’s always something dumber waiting for you in the
future. But this time it was a good surprise.
I
may have a dilemma (but not too much of one) this coming Friday. The
sequel to 300 is coming out as well as Particle
Fever a documentary on the building of the Large Hadron
Collider (remember, I am a Mathematician with Physics background),
and Mr. Peabody and Sherman. Which do you think will win
out? Enjoy!
Robocop (MGM/Columbia,
2014) – Director: Jose Padilha. Writers: Joshua Zetumer (s/p);
Edward Neumeier, Michael Miner (1987 s/p). Cast: Joel Kinnaman, Gary
Oldman, Michael Keaton, Abbie Cornish, Jackie Earle Haley, Michael K.
Williams, Jennifer Ehle, Marianne Jean-Baptiste, Samuel L. Jackson,
Aimee Garcia, Zach Grenier, Partick Garrow, Jay Baruchel, & John
Paul Ruttan. Color, Rated PG-13, 117 minutes.
It’s
2028 in Detroit, the most crime-ridden city in America. In other
parts of the world, especially those prone to terrorism, robotic
police forces are being used to keep the peace. (We see a
knife-wielding child gunned down by a metallic behemoth after his
suicide bomber father explodes uselessly.) But here in America, human
policemen are still dying on the job because of the Dreyfuss Act,
which specifically forbids robotic policing.
The
“Novak” show comes on television and its passionate host, Pat
Novak (Jackson) vociferously touts the advantages of robotic
peace-keepers while belittling Senator Hubert Dreyfuss (Grenier) for
deliberately putting the American police force and the people they
serve in harm’s way. With the bravado of Al Sharpton, he whisks
video after video on his multimedia background to prove his point. He
asks the question: Is America afraid to be safe?
Back
on the streets of Detroit, Alex Murphy (Kinnaman) is a good cop
trying to bust a major drug cartel headed by Antoine Vallon (Garrow)
that has been moving major weapons out of the evidence lockers of his
own police station. But what Murphy doesn’t know is that two dirty
cops on the force are actively aiding Vallon. As in the song by the
Talking Heads, he has a beautiful home and a beautiful wife Clara
(Cornish) as well as a young son David (Ruttan). Alex’s methods are
a bit rogue and his actions cause the death of his partner in a raid
on Vallon’s operation – something he regrets deeply. Vallon has
one of his cops rig a bomb to Alex’s car and sets the alarm off
just after Alex has put his son to bed. It goes off when Alex tries
the door after unsuccessfully using the remote and he’s burned over
90 percent of his body.
Meanwhile,
Raymond Sellars (Keaton), owner and CEO of Omnicorp (where all the
world goes to shop for robotic police), is conferring with noted
doctor and scientist Dennett Norton (Oldman) on how he can obtain a
hybrid human/machine to satisfy the American need for superior crime
fighters. After having gone through several disabled athletes and
veteran soldiers Alex’s name is brought up. After some thought,
Sellars is sure he’s “the one.” They secure Clara’s
permission after convincing her they can “save” Alex.
The
location now changes to China (it’s illegal to build robotic cops
in America, remember?) and we soon see Alex wearing the same silver
robotic suit worn in the first version of Robocop and attached
to an elaborate device/table complete with clear tubes through which
vital fluids are pumped. Upon awakening he’s not exactly thrilled
with his new body. As soon as he’s free of the table he exits the
building and starts running through the rice paddies outside until
Dr. Norton shuts him down. Sellars is a ruthless businessman who
wants this new product before the American people sooner than
possible. He allows Alex an awkward visit with his family and they
accept him as being the Dad and husband they thought was lost
forever. For better marketing, the silver suit is junked for a more
formidable black one.
When tested against a pure robot, Alex’s
reactions are unacceptably slower. Dr. Norton operates on Alex’s
brain to allow the computer greater access, and the result is a
“machine that thinks it’s Alex” instead of a human controlling
a robotic body. They download megabytes of crime records into his
memory and when he’s presented to the public he picks out and
subdues a criminal immediately, impressing everyone. However, he did
not react to his wife and son when he passed them. He becomes an
instant sensation and the savior of Detroit until Clara goes on
television accusing Sellars of taking her husband away from her and
his father from his son.
After
a confrontation with Clara, Alex overrides his programming and solves
his own murder, right up to the two dirty cops and the chief
responsible for their actions. At this point, Sellars decides that
Robocop has to go.
I
admit that I did not see the original film in 1987 with Peter Weller
all the way through. I do remember it being less than my
expectations, especially a title character so silly as to be beyond
belief. Kinnaman, however, brings out the All-American aspect of
Robocop, which makes the character endearing. Keaton was great as the
CEO who won’t accept “no” as an answer, and who will stop at
nothing to get his way. This version surprised me in that I was
absorbed into the story and was able to suspend my beliefs, even
though they left in the thudding footfalls and the whirring sounds
whenever Robocop twisted. Joshua Zetumer’s screenplay was much more
acceptable than the Neumeier/Miner one, helped by special effects
that were light-years better because of newer technology. The one
that impressed me was when they remove the robotic suit and all
that’s left is a head (with brain), a heart and two pulsing lungs
in clear containers and one hand. Alex really needed all those tubes.
There were several bodily functions he could not do anymore. It’s a
cleaner film than the original and not as hokey, even though they did
leave in the line “Thank you for your cooperation.” I also commend
the writer on keeping the language from getting vulgar, even to the
point of bleeping out Samuel L. Jackson’s last tirade. I left the
theater glad I had seen it.
Rating: 3
½ out of 5 Martini glasses. Not recommended for small children
due to the level of violence
Balade
208
1st Avenue (between 12th and
13th Streets), New York City
Sometimes
when I choose a restaurant billed as Mediterranean I see a menu with
a fusion of cuisines circumnavigating the great sea. An “Eastern
Mediterranean” billing limits such a restaurant even more. Balade
is Lebanese, with a few innovative recipe twists. The dark wood, red
and white outdoor awning announces “Balade” in big white
lettering. Below, two potted evergreens flank the glass-doored
entrance. Inside is a warm – almost overly warm – space with
open-brick walls leading to arabesque tiles on the left and the bar
on the right. A long orange-lit arc stretching from the beginning of
the bar to the back of the restaurant gracefully compliments a wall
of laterally sliced tree limbs (presumably cedar), and a painting of
a belly dancer floating in mid-dance. Dim lantern swags light the
bare-topped dark wood tables, with votive candles adding their
romantic light.
Balade
is not a French word (as it seemed to me) and is pronounced
Bah-Lah-Déh. It is Lebanese for “fresh or local.” Chef/Owner
Roland Semaan brings surprising ingredients into classic Lebanese
recipes some Americans wouldn’t expect, such as jalapenos, sumac
and pomegranate molasses.
The
young lady at the Captain’s Station offered me a choice of tables:
near the front window or in the back. As the heating system was
baking my face in the front of the restaurant, I opted for the back.
(I was glad to get my winter outerwear off.) Once comfortable, I
received a glass of water and the menu from my waiter Alejandro. The
menu is an interesting read because the first page is an explanation
of all the Lebanese terms and ingredients used on subsequent
pages, e.g., Manakeesh is a Lebanese pizza; Sumac is a
tart and tangy, deep burgundy colored spice harvested from a wild
berry bush. The only problem I had with was that the terms and titles
of dishes were in an ornate compressed red font that made them
difficult to read in the dim lighting.
There
were Daily Specials, 2 Soups, 6 Salads, 24 Mezze (“Small dishes
served before a large-scale meal”), 12 Platters, and 6 Sides; as
well as 8 Manakeesh, 5 Pita Pitzas, 10 Sandweechet (Sandwiches) and 6
desserts. It took longer than I thought to choose from this amount of
possible selections.
Noticing
right away that there were no cocktails I looked over the beer
listing. Good thing I did because among the choices from Morocco,
Turkey, Greece, Ireland and Holland, there were six Lebanese beers. I
chose 961 Porter (961 is indeed the brand name) and was rewarded with
a rich flavorful reddish-brown beer that pleased my palate. The
breadbasket that came shortly after had two puffy mini pitas and was
accompanied by a dish of sesame seeded olive oil. Later they were
replaced with whole- wheat flat bread.
From
the food menu I decided to start with a soup, the “Hearly Lentil
Soup” – a Lemony broth with lentils and Swiss chard, flavored
with “essential Lebanese spices.” I have no idea what these
spices were because the fresh lemon juice overpowered them. The soup
was good, but it was definitely not spicy and cooled quickly. At this
point I had finished my beer and Alejandro brought my wine, Lebanese
of course. It was a lovely 2007 red varietal combining Merlot, Syrah,
and Cabernet from Domaine Wardy called “Chateau Les Cedres.” Now
some may think all Middle-Eastern red wines are sweet – au
contraire. The nose and flavor of this ruby red wine were fruity, the
taste slightly tart and with a good finish that neither dominated nor
disappeared behind the flavor of the food.
My
second course came from the Mezze selection and was Flavored Falafel:
Crisp brown hemispheres made of ground chick peas, fava beans,
onions, cumin and parsley. It was served with Tahini sauce (sesame
paste, lemon, garlic, water and salt) in four flavors: Fresh Mint,
Jalapeno (my favorite), Celery, and Cilantro. The four falafels were
arranged two on each side of the sauce on a long, narrow oblong plate
with tomato, red cabbage, and pickled fennel as garnishes on either
end. Everything was delicious even though the plate made it difficult
to slice the falafels without anything spilling onto the table.
Next
came the main course, a platter and a slight departure from Eastern
Mediterranean style. The Mixed Grill lined up skewers of Lamb Kabob,
Chicken Tawook (marinated in yogurt and lemon juice), and Beef Kafta
(ground, mixed with spices and reformed into a sausage-shape) next to
a mound of French Fries (a welcome departure from boiled potatoes)
and char-grilled vegetables. A passing waitress commented on how
wonderful the aroma was, saying that it was her favorite dish and
that she envied me having it. The lamb was earthy and a bit chewy,
the chicken perfectly done and the beef was miraculous – tender and
spicy (but not too much). The French Fries needed no seasoning and
were crisp, as though fried more than once. I was rapidly becoming
sated.
But
by now you know me. Dessert was calling. The Henafa – Baked cheese
topped with breadcrumbs and crushed pistachios in a honey sauce –
was heavenly, and surprisingly finishable. And what kind of gourmet
would I be without a pot of Lebanese coffee, the thick sweet, dark
brew in a lovely brass pot with a wood handle to pour into a delicate
porcelain cup? That, with a glass of Marsala wine, completed the
perfect Lebanese dining experience.
As
far as I’ve read, Balade has been in business since 2012, when
Michelin reviewed them. I hope they stay around long enough for a
second visit. I still haven’t had the dishes with sumac in them.
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