Dinner
and a Movie
By
Steve Herte
Warcraft (Universal,
2016) – Director: Duncan Jones. Writers: Duncan Jones, Charles
Levitt (s/p), Chris Metzen (story & characters). Stars: Travis
Flimmel, Paula Patton, Ben Foster, Dominic Cooper, Toby Kebbell, Ben
Schnetzer, Robert Kazinsky, Clancy Brown, Daniel Wu, Ruth Nega, Anna
Galvin, Callum Keith Rennie, Burkeley Duffield, Ryan Robbins, Michael
Adamthwaite, & Dean Redman. Color, 3D, PG-13, 123 minutes.
It
seems more and more movies are coming out inspired by video games.
Some really do not need to be made. This movie is one of them.
The
problem with making a movie based on a video game is that of
translation: will those who have not played the game be able to
understand what is going on? Unfortunately, in this case, no. The
film comes off as a sort of Tolkien-Lite (with a little Star
Wars mythology added along the way), stealing his concept of
Orcs, which are described as larger than goblins, hideous, warlike
and not very bright. They are led by as spiky green shaman named
Gul’dan (Wu), who wields a magical power known as “the fel,”
which has the ability to drain or instill the life force within its
victim. Because their world has been destroyed by some form of
apocalypse, Gul’dan has opened a portal for his warriors to run
through, beginning a war with a world called Azeroth, home to humans,
elves, dwarves, and much more, though in this movie we’re mainly
introduced to the humans.
Along
the way, Gul’dan is busy subjugating other Orc clans to his will,
such as the Winter Wolf Clan, led by Durotan (Kebbell) and his mate
Drakka (Galvin). They are quick to figure out that Gul’dan is not
only the cause of the devastation of Draenor, their homeland, but
that the magic power he wields, “the Fel,” is evil. Later they
will join the forces of Azeroth in opposing the evil warlord.
The
human kingdoms in Azeroth are led by King Llane Wrynn (Cooper), his
faithful warrior sidekick, Anduin Lothar (Fimmel), and the Guardian
Magna Medivh (Foster). When Lothar learns of the Orc invasion, he
along with the Dwarf King Magni Bronzebeard (Adamthwaite) urge King
Wrynn to summon Medivh to stem the threat. After a quick flight
to Karazhan, Medivh is enlisted and brought to Azeroth, Llane is
convinced and a scouting party is formed.
The
scouting party is beset by orcs and saved though the magic of Khadgar
(Schnetzer), a wizard who abandoned his monk-like order. They capture
a half-breed orc/human named Garona (Patton). Knowing Gul’dan is
evil, she convinces Lothar and Llane to meet with Durotan to join
forces against Gul’dan. But working against them is the fact that
Medivh has been perverted by the fel and is working for the orcs. As
the movie continued, I had the feeling that the plot was not headed
for a resolution so much as a sequel.
The
problem with Warcraft, as mentioned above, is that it’s
directed to those who are serious and frequent players of the video
game. Director Duncan Jones – son of the late, great David Bowie –
who previously made the excellent Moon and Source
Code, is better as director than co-writer, as the battle
sequences are far more accomplished than any of the scenes in which
characters stand around spouting various inanities concerning the
fel.
Like
so much of the fantasy jargon employed in the film, there’s
absolutely no wider explanation of what it is or how it works; it’s
just assumed that the audience should understand what’s going on.
The film’s characters spout monologues about the “Guardian of
Tirisfal” or the rules of ancient orcish battle rituals. The result
is that things quickly become hopelessly muddled, and it’s
impossible to keep track of what’s going on.
One
of the most annoying irritating aspects the film to me was that it
plunged me right into its plot without a concern for those, like me,
who have never played the game. The characters just begin talking
about even more creatures I haven’t yet met. A good movies gives
out its information carefully, trusting that those who don’t quite
get what’s going on will be able to catch up without too much time
having passed. Warcraft feels like it should be
accompanied by a guide explaining what it’s all about.
Unlike
Tolkien and unlike other fantasies, this video game adaptation has
veritably no comic relief. We yearn for a wisecracking character like
Han Solo to relieve the tension and the seriousness. The lightest
moment in the movie is when Lothar is holding Durotan’s head by the
hair with a short sword to his neck, threatening to kill him if his
mount, an enormous, snarling white wolf, does not back off. It does,
and Lothar says, “Too bad. It would have made a nice coat.” Other
than that, there is no lessening of the direness of the situation.
On
the good side, though there is gratuitous violence throughout, the
gore factor is at a minimum, even when heads are crushed or removed.
Parents, judge accordingly. The 3D effects are excellent and the
action scenes are not dizzying. But seriously, the Mystery
Science Theater 3000 team would have a field day with this
film. The fact that the orcs’ hands were twice the size of their
heads made me think of Wreck-It Ralph. At one point,
the plot turns Biblical when Drakka, seeing no other option, commits
her child to the river in a basket. (I’ll bet he’s renamed
“Moses” or something similar.) Yes, there will be a sequel. Sure,
why not? Hollywood has no new ideas and there are five chapters to
the original sequence of Warcraft games.
Rating:
2½
out
of 5 Martini glasses.
Azabu
438
Greenwich St., New York
Located
along a lonely stretch of Greenwich Street, two blocks from Canal, is
Azabu. The restaurant is one step up from the sidewalk, identified
only by a white sign with its name. A sign on the door reads, “Open
the green door to the left.” There are three. I tried two wrong
ones until I found the correct one.
Once
inside, it’s a golden, simply decorated place with seven
butcher-block tables on one wall and an eight-seat sushi bar on the
other. Behind the sushi bar were two chefs busily working in front of
a lighted, smoky lucite panel whose only decoration was a pictograph
of a carp/catfish. The faux bamboo ceiling added to the Zen
atmosphere.
I
was cheerily greeted by Su, whom I had spoken to on the phone
confirming my arrival. She directed me to one of the only two open
tables and I sat on the cushioned banquette facing the sushi bar.
Looking
over the menu I noticed that, contrary to the information I gleaned
online, the restaurant does not serve cocktails. Su explained that
since they “lost” (she didn’t elaborate) the upper floor
(meaning the ground level) they had to simplify their menu as well as
eliminate the more complex cocktails. She recommended the sake, of
which there were at least nine varieties. With her help, I chose one
that turned out to be very nice; understated, but promising not to
interfere with the flavors to come, and at the same time having
potency.
Again
with Su’s help, I was able to chart out a three-course meal that
began with Wagyu Tataki (seared Wagyu beef with onions and a soy
dipping sauce). For those not familiar with Wagyu, it’s as
excellent and succulent as Kobe beef but with more marbling and more
flavor. The bite-sized pieces of meat were served on a bed of thinly
sliced white onions resting on a banana leaf in the long narrow
opalescent platter. It’s a good thing chopsticks force you to eat
slowly. I could easily have finished this dish in a minute.
Next
came a six-piece sushi platter, consisting of O-Toro, the much-prized
bright red fatty tuna (delightful and sweet), Kohadaa (Gizzard Shad,
which was salty, not as sweet as the tuna, and a little denser in
texture), Awabi (Abalone, which I first had at Foxwoods; once you try
it you’ll be hooked.), and two Uni (Sea Urchin) from two areas of
Hokkaido (believe it or not, there was a difference in flavor, with
one being slightly sweeter than the other.) Last on the plate was
Anago (Conger Eel), the only sushi served marinated in soy sauce. I
love eel any way you prepare it and this was no exception.
I
would like to call the next dish my main course from the way Su
described it: Grilled King Crab with crab butter. Prying the crab
meat loose with chopsticks was relatively easy. But calling the
heavenly dressing simply “crab butter” was insulting to the
herbal, rich flavor I received from this remarkable topping. The crab
meat was perfect and tender and the whole experience was
transporting.
I
was still hungry, so I had Su bring back the menu (I believe she took
it when we thought I was through ordering). I chose the Shiso
Kanpachi Roll, a California style roll (rice on the outside). Six
pieces were served on a shiny oval plate rimmed in gold and were
comprised of Yellowtail, pickled radish and shiso leaf (a fragrant
member of the mint family). Topping each piece with a dab of wasabi
(hot Japanese horseradish) I alternated between sushi and slices of
ginger and sips of sake. Very good.
I
asked Su about dessert and she cited various ice creams, sorbets and
gelatos. I chose a combination of green tea and strawberry ice cream.
Green tea, like red bean ice cream, is an acquired taste and I
acquired it a long time ago. Such intense tea flavor! It outclassed
the strawberry (usually my favorite) by a long shot and I told Su.
No, they don’t make their desserts on site, they get them from a
distributor who is very particular about the flavors.
Su’s
only faux-pas was assuming I was finished then. She brought the
check. There was no indication of any hot tea on the menu – odd for
a Japanese restaurant. I had her bring back the drinks menu because I
remembered “flavored sakes” as a category. I chose a glass of
spicy plum flavored sake, thinking “how in the world could plum
wine be spicy?” It was. The pinkish-orange beverage in the tall
thin stemmed glass had a nice spicy kick to it.
Azabu
may be in a lonely spot, they may have “lost” their ground floor,
but it’s a gem to be found. A little on the expensive side, but
when you consider that the fish is flown in fresh from Japan daily
and the expertise of the staff, it’s worth it.
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