Dinner
and a Movie
By
Steve Herte
Mower
Minions (Universal, 2016) – Director: Glenn
McCoy. Animated. Color, Rated G, 4 minutes.
What
do the minions do when they are not serving Gru or searching for
Scarlet Overkill? Simple: they’re watching TV and thinking about
bananas.
And
that’s what they’re doing in this hilarious four-minute short
after they see an infomercial touting a miracle blender full of
bananas for $24.
They
quickly get out the piggy bank. One puts several sticks of dynamite
on it, while another simply smashes it. A single quarter is inside.
What to do?
They
see children outside getting money for mowing lawns and an idea is
formed. Pulling the pin from the trailer attached to a professional
landscaping outfit’s truck, they have all the tools they need and
head for a retirement home. Though the people can’t understand
their wacky language and one elderly gentleman is just as
incomprehensible, they get the job using a sign indicating $24 and
pointing. The rest is pure insanity.
One
uses a leaf blower to annoy another, one steps in dog poop while
another in a hazmat suit places it in a paper bag. Another has a
staring contest with a lawn gnome – and wins when the gnomes head
explodes – and is so excited he needs to breathe into a paper bag
(you guessed it, the one with the poop). The work really doesn’t
get done, but the people are so grateful for the gales of laughter
they pay them with a jar filled with 24,000 “shiny pennies.”
I
loved the minions since I first saw them in Despicable Me and
I still find them very funny. This is an excellent short that had me
chuckling minutes into the main feature. Well done, Universal!
Rating:
4 out of 5 Martini glasses.
The
Secret Life of Pets (Universal,
2016) – Directors: Yarrow Cheney and Chris Renaud. Writers: Ken
Daurio, Brian Lynch & Cinco Paul. Stars: Louis C.K., Eric
Stonestreet, Kevin Hart, Jenny Slate, Ellie Kemper, Albert Brooks,
Lake Bell, Dana Carvey, Hannibal Buress, Bobby Moynihan, Chris
Renaud, Steve Coogan, Michael Beattie, Tara Strong, Sandra
Echeverría, & Jaime Camil. Animated, 3D, Color, Rated PG, 90
minutes.
I
was talking with a friend about seeing this film when he noted that
his son didn’t want to see it for a most unusual (and partly
correct) reason. He didn’t want to see another movie where the main
character gets lost and all of his friends must go searching for him,
a plot of many past movies. Yes, that’s almost it. But unlike Dory
or Nemo, Max (Louis C.K.) does not become lost by his own fault.
Max
is Katie’s (Kemper) little brown and white dog and he has a good
life, that is until Katie has to go to work. His lifestyle is upset
when Katie comes home from the dog pound and brings Duke
(Stonestreet), a big, long-haired mongrel, to be his big brother.
Duke uses his size to lord it over Max, but when Duke smashes a vase,
Max uses a doggy form of blackmail to control Duke.
While
on a dog-walk with Duke and eight other dogs, they arrive at the dog
park and the young man, more interested in girls than the dogs,
neglects to detach Max’s leash. Duke sees a way out of the dog
park, grabs Max’s leash and runs off with him. The two wind up in
an alley presided over by Ozone (Coogan), a mangy hairless Sphinx cat
who, with an army of other cats, remove both of their dog collars.
They escape, but are caught by the dog catchers and are headed for
the pound.
Max
doesn’t know he has a girlfriend in Gidget (Slate), a fluffy white
Pomeranian living one story up in the next building. Unlike the
dog-walker, she notices that Max is missing when his pals Buddy the
Dachshund (Buress) and Mel the Pug (Moynihan) come home without him.
Inspired by the soap opera she’s watching where Fernando (Jaime
Camil) tells Maria (Echeveria) that she must find her true love, she
climbs to the roof of her building to look for Max. But then she
realizes just how big New York City is when she stands on the ledge.
She hears a voice behind her coming from a creepy shed on the roof
(which she acknowledges as creepy), and meets Tiberius the Red-tailed
Hawk (Brooks), who is more interested in her as food than as a
friend. But she manages to make a deal with him to find Max in return
for freeing him from his chain.
Meanwhile,
in the dog-catchers’ truck, Max and Duke see a ferocious bulldog
and are stunned when the truck is ambushed by Snowball the Rabbit
(Hart), who is coming to free the bulldog. Snowball chews a key out
of a carrot and opens the cage and is about to leave when Duke and
Max convince him that they killed their owners and thus, deserve to
join his “gang.” This gang consists of every pet that was
abandoned or flushed by their owners and includes alligators, snakes,
spiders, as well as dogs and cats, and Tattoo the Pig (Beattie).
Tiberius
brings Ozone to Gidget and her interrogation methods force Ozone to
direct her to the sewer. She rounds up Buddy, Mel, Chloe the obese
and apathetic Tabby Cat (Bell), Norman the Guinea Pig (Renaud), who,
by the way, keeps getting lost trying to find his apartment, and
Sweet Pea (Strong), a parakeet who like video games involving fighter
planes. She has to argue all that Max has done for them to get them
to agree with Tiberius in the room, but they all head off to see the
street-wise Pops, an elderly, partially paralyzed Basset Hound
(Carvey), who leads them to the sewer hideout of the “Flushed Pets”
organization.
The
Secret Life of Pets is much more than a lost dog story. Its
purpose is to whimsically posit what pets do when the owners are away
and it does so in spades, with a lot of laughs along the way. Leonard
is a prim white poodle who secretly prefers heavy metal rock to the
classical Vivaldi his owner plays. Chloe raids the refrigerator,
which explains her size, and Buddy uses the electric mixer as a
shiatsu. The voices are well-matched to the characters and the
animation is beautiful. The 3D effects are eye popping, especially
when the snakes guarding the sewer lair come straight out over the
audience – so does the alligator’s jaw – and opening scene,
while the audience is soaring over, under and through the city while
Taylor Swift’s “Welcome to New York” plays is almost
stomach-dropping.
Speaking
of the soundtrack, we hear “Stayin’ Alive” by the Bee Gees on
the dog walk, “We Go Together” from Grease at the sausage factory
raid by Duke and Max as well as “My Best Friend” by Queen, and
“Happy” by Pharrell Williams (well, it did come from the people
who brought us Despicable Me).
In
addition to the stars, we hear Larraine Newman as Chloe’s owner and
John Kassir as Leonard’s owner. The writing is great and clever.
Chloe has most of the funny lines, but Pops gets in a good one.
Talking about Snowball, he says, “That ball of fur has got a screw
loose!” The movie is squeaky clean and lots of fun. Bring the kids
to this one, even if they’ve made up their minds not to see it. And
remember to stay through the first set of credits. There’s a little
bit more madcap action to go.
Rating:
4 out of 5 Martini glasses.
Salam
104
W. 13th St., New York
What
caught my attention about this restaurant, aside from the apparent
misspelling of the Arabic word for peace (Salaam), is that when I
looked it up on OpenTable.com,
it was listed as Syrian/Lebanese. When I arrived at its
below-street-level location, the awning touted Middle Eastern. Upon
entering the charming space, I saw the business card, which called
the cuisine Arabic. It’s all of the above.
Salam
has operated out the lower level of a classic brownstone in Greenwich
Village for 20 years and can add 10 more years in a previous location
to the expertise of their chef. It’s a family-owned business and
quality and care are products number one and two. Inside is a small
bar to the right and a few tables in the bar area. My server Karen
met me at the door, confirmed my reservation, and seated me. The room
was spacious. Three of the walls are mirrored, making it look much
larger. The chairs are wrought-iron with gracefully sculpted backs,
and the tables are inlaid with ceramic tiles in earth tones and moss
greens. I was charmed just looking around.
When
Karen asked if I wanted a drink to start, I chose the pomegranate
martini – vodka, pomegranate juice and lime. It was delicious,
appropriate for the atmosphere. And though the bar was just a
room-divider away from me, I never heard her prepare it – no
tinkling of ice cubes or shakers. Totally inspired though
mysteriously concocted.
Although
the food menu has a remarkably large selection for such a small
place, I had already thought out my selections from perusing the
online menu.
My
first dish was the babaganouj – grilled eggplant pureed with garlic
and tahini (a sauce made from baked sesame seeds and vegetable oil)
was thick and creamy with that wonderful smoky flavor from the
tahini.
An
order of stuffed grape leaves arrived shortly after and before I
finished the first dish. But that didn’t matter. Babaganouj is
served cold and the stuffed grape leaves were steaming hot, slightly
vinegary and exciting. Karen brought out the wine and I asked her to
wait until the main course.
The
2013 Chateau Ksara Reserve Du Couvent Cabernet from the Bekaa Valley,
Lebanon, was the perfect complement to the meal, a varietal blend of
Cabernet Franc and Cabernet grapes with a fruit nose and a rich,
full-bodied flavor and deep red color.
For
my main course, I ordered macloubee – lamb layered with eggplant
and basmati rice. The tender juicy lamb paired with the
melt-in-your-mouth eggplant under a garnish of spinach and a touch of
olive oil to provide a perfect main course.
For
dessert, I ordered halvah, which was served in chunks on a beautiful
plate so that you could see the pistachios. It exploded into sugary
dust in the mouth and brought back memories. Fortunately, I also
ordered Lebanese tea to wash it down. The tea was served in an
authentic brass teapot with a scalloped top and gracefully curved
spout and I half expected a genie to appear from it.
Salam
is a wonderfully transporting experience. I raved to Karen about
every dish. It was after I left that I saw two Syrian favorites at
the bottom of the online menu. That alone would prompt a return, not
to mention the Moroccan couscous royale (three meats). I was at peace
going home.
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