Dinner
and a Movie
By
Steve Herte
Rock
Dog (Summit Entertainment, 2016) – Director:
Ash Brannon. Writers: Ash Brannon (s/p & story), Zheng Jun
(story), Denise Bradley, Vincente DiSanti, Will Finn, Carolyn Gair,
Nicole McMath, Kurt Voelker & Josh Zinman (additional story
material). Stars: Luke Wilson, Eddie Izzard, J.K. Simmons, Lewis
Black, Kenan Thompson, Mae Whitman, Jorge Garcia, Matt Dillion &
Sam Elliott. Color, Animated, Rated PG, 80 min.
My
mind must have been seriously preoccupied when I purchased my movie
ticket. I expected the theater to be devoid of people and it was, but
I didn’t expect the average age of the theater-goers to decrease so
far. Thinking I had bought a ticket to see A Dog’s Purpose,
I was at first confused by the Chinese-style music at the beginning
of this film. Then, the flat, badly drawn animated characters for the
backstory made me think that this would be a cartoon short before the
feature movie. Eventually, I realized that this was indeed Rock
Dog and not A Dog’s Purpose. A character
by the whimsical name of Fleetwood Yak (Elliott) narrates the basic
premise of the film.
Somewhere
in Tibet there is a lamasery-like village inhabited by sheep on Snow
Mountain. They are guarded from the wolves by a large Tibetan mastiff
named Khampa (Simmons). Khampa expects his son Bodie (Wilson) to
follow in his footsteps and be the future guardian of the sheep. He’s
locked up all musical instruments because he knows that Bodie will
neglect all of his duties for music. Bodie performs all of his chores
diligently, even anticipating ones his Dad could come up with but he
hasn’t mastered a kung-fu-like move called the “Iron Paw,”
which is his Dad’s secret weapon against the wolves. Khampa
explains that it takes concentration and one has to put one’s heart
into it and “feel the fire.”
No
wolves have shown up in a long time due to Khampa and Bodie
outfitting several sheep to look like an army of mastiffs guarding
the flock, but that doesn’t mean they are not out there waiting. In
my opinion, neither Khampa nor Bodie look anything like mastiffs, but
that’s animation for you.
One
day, it’s Bodie’s turn to dress up the sheep (who by the way, are
dumber than a box of wool) and one costume’s head springs off and
rolls away. Bodie chases it to a flock of birds, shoos them away, and
they fly off taking the head with them. A single-engine plane appears
in the sky heading for the flock of birds. When it veers to avoid
them several items fall out onto the snow below, including a working
pink radio. Bodie soon discovers that by turning the tuning knob
different music forms emanate from this mysterious box. He tunes in a
rock and roll station and is transported into a colorful fantasy,
thus finding his passion is not just music, but rock and roll. He
breaks into the locked cabinet and swipes a dramyin (a kind of
Tibetan lute) and starts playing it like a guitar.
Khampa
sees his son once again neglecting his duties for music and hatches a
plan to scare Bodie out of this dream. He dresses three sheep and
himself as wolves and attacks the village. But Bodie doesn’t react
the way his Dad expects and he sends a false alarm through the
village. In the chaos that results several balls of yarn act like
fuses and, when lit by dropped torches, set off the fireworks shack.
Khampa discusses this with Fleetwood Yak and Ian (Ash Brannon), the
oldest sheep (and head shearer) and, against his better judgment,
provides Bodie with a bus ticket to the city. Only one caveat, if he
doesn’t “make it” there, he’s to give up music and come home.
The
idea of a remote place like Snow Mountain having a bus stop is silly
enough, but an Abbott and Costello team of wolves named Skozz and
Riff (Thompson) watch Bodie’s every move. These two only remind me
of Abbott and Costello in their size and shape, not in their comedic
abilities, and the roles are reversed. Riff, the short fat one is the
noisy, arrogant character and the tall thin one Skozz is silent and
stupid. They are tasked with following Bodie into town and kidnapping
him for their leader, Linnux (Black).
Bodie’s
first destination in town (per the radio) is Rock and Roll Park,
where various bands are competing for the crowd’s attention. He
sees one group not playing and guesses they need a guitarist. He
introduces himself to Darma (Whitman) a red fox bassist and Germur
(Garcia) a spaced-out but likable goat on drums. Before he can start
playing, Trey (Dillon), a Snow Leopard challenges him to a
riff-contest as an audition and wins when Bodie tosses his instrument
into a tree. But Trey knows how to get rid of Bodie. He tells him
that he can get guitar lessons from the ultra-famous Angus
Scattergood (Izzard) – whom Bodie had already learned of from the
radio – and then he can try out again.
Angus
is a skinny white cat who lives like a hermit in his mansion with
only his robot butler Ozzie. Currently, he has a case of writer’s
block and is being harassed by his producer to cut a single in the
next three days or his career would suffer. After a few run-ins with
Bodie – once where he’s kidnapped by accident by Riff and Skozz –
he agrees to let him in and is forced to agree that the dog has
talent. Together they write the song “Glorious.” Not an
Oscar-winning tune, but good enough.
Nobody
at Rock and Roll Park believe that Bodie and Angus composed a song
together until they turn on a radio and hear Angus take sole credit
for the song. Saddened by this, Bodie retreats from his new-found
friends and is anesthetized and captured by Riff and Skozz. In his
delirium he reveals that the army on Snow Mountain is actually sheep
and, after putting Bodie into a fight cage with the hulking character
named “The Griz” (a bear, of course) Linnux and his wolf
pack/gang drive off at top speed to eat grilled lamb chops.
This
may all sound exciting, but all the action in this film is dumbed
down to a child’s level. The children in the audience were rapt.
The pre-teens were on their devices throughout the film, and I was
wondering why I was there. Huckleberry Hound, Yogi Bear and Augie
Doggie had much better writers. Fortunately, the only flat-drawing
was during the opening narration – which was only good because it
was Sam Elliott’s voice – the rest was three dimensional,
computer graphic enhanced characters. I read one review where the
writer complained that the characters didn’t even have fur. Yes
they did, and very well done in CGI. If you didn’t notice the
close-ups of Linnux, you might possibly have fallen asleep at that
point.
Even
though its $60 million production cost made it the most expensive
animated film in China, I don’t anticipate it being nominated for
any Academy Awards in 2018. The production company, Reel FX also
made Free Birds (2013) – seriously funnier
– and The Book of Life (2014) – a
remarkable achievement – which prompts the question, “What went
wrong this time?”
Rating:
1½
out of 5 Martini glasses.
Banc
Café
431
Third Avenue, New York
The
Murray Hill/Kip’s Bay area of New York City is a middle-class
version of Greenwich Village. It is literally dotted with taverns,
pubs, bars and bistros. In the southern part there are as many Indian
restaurants as on East 6th Street and the northern section
competes with Midtown for sophistication. My restaurant of choice is
right in the middle of all this diversity.
The
menu was a single card: on one side and drinks on the other. When a
server asked if I wanted a cocktail. I chose the jalapeno margarita –
fresh lime juice, agave nectar, jalapeno house infused sauza tequila,
and triple sec, garnished with a slice of lime and a slice of
jalapeno pepper. It was as spicy as it sounds and I thought it wise
not to eat the garnish.
I
had read the menu several times, decided on my meal and the wine,
finished my cocktail and was sipping water by the time my server,
Shauna, appeared at my table with a trainee in tow. I gave her my
choices which consisted of two appetizers (or small plates, per the
menu), a main course, a side and the wine. When I mentioned the braised lamb shank, Shauna interjected the special of the day, also
lamb and it changed my mind.
I
was halfway through my second margarita, when my appetizers came. The
porcini & eggplant “meatballs” were served in two iron
mini–skillets, one in a garlic white wine broth and one in a tomato
sauce. If you had tasted these you would swear there was meat in
them, but Shauna assured me there was only eggplant and mushroom. It
was intriguing and delicious. They provided a spoon and I used it to
finish both sauces. Oddly, there was no bread dish. I guess it
wouldn’t be American Nouveau if there was.
A
trainee brought my wine, a 2012 Medalla Real “Santa Rita”
Cabernet Sauvignon (special reserve) from Valle Del Maipo, Chile.
I’ve loved every Chilean red wine I’ve tried and this one was no
exception. It had an almost smoky back-taste with a tart fruit
accent, a nice medium body red.
Soon
the second appetizer was served, and I noticed it was a larger
portion than the original. Again in a little iron skillet there was
the potato gnocchi, soft chewy dumplings with a julienne of sun dried
tomato in a creamy pesto sauce. The sun-dried tomato was an inspired
touch to an already wonderful basil sauce, adding a candy-like
flavor. A sip of the wine after each tomato brought waves of pleasure
to my taste buds. It reminded me of the fabulous angel hair pesto I
loved in the now long-gone Thomas Street Inn.
The
rack of lamb turned out to be a good idea, as it came with
potatoes au gratin and spinach instead of mashed potatoes.
The side dish was one of my all-time favorites, Brussels sprouts with
apple-wood bacon and onions, again in its own skillet. There was
ample lamb – I counted eight chops and the sprouts were crunchy,
perfectly cooked and bacon-y. Unfortunately, once I got past the
crispy part and ate most of the cheese, the potatoes au
gratin fell wet and flat and the spinach became tired after a
while. I left some of each on the plate.
Normally
I wouldn’t order an ice cream dessert, but as you can guess I was
becoming sated. The hazelnut gelato finished the meal nicely with a
hot cup of organic Earl Grey tea. I wondered why both servers had
Irish brogues and learned later on that Banc Café, despite its
French-sounding name was established, owned and operated for 12 years
by Irish staff. Even the Chef, John J. Loughran is of Irish descent.
But he has a history of working in the famous River Café in
Brooklyn, hence the imaginative and delicious food.
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