By
Steve Herte
The
Meg (WB, 2018) - Director: Jon Turteltaub.
Writers: Dean Georgaris, Jon Hoeber & Erich Hoeber (s/p); Steve
Alten (novel, The Meg). Stars: Jason
Statham, Bingbing Li & Rainn Wilson. Color, Rated PG-13, 113
minutes.
Jaws (1975)
is still the best and reigning king of shark movies. By now the
general populace must have grown jaded about the Jaws series,
the ridiculous Sharknado series, and the
obtuse Sharktopus series (yes, there was more than
one of those too). Some of us even yawn at Shark Week on
TV. Now we have to deal with science going too far once again and
accidentally dredging up a prehistoric giant of the seas.
This film, in a
parallel to Godzilla, begins five years in the past,
in a rescue attempt to save scientists from a nuclear submarine that
is being crunched like a Twizzlers licorice stick. Jonas Taylor
(Jason Statham) saves whom he can in the time given but leaves
several behind to perish. He’s vilified for not saving everyone,
lives in Thailand running a failing fishing boat fleet and is so
severely traumatized by the event he refuses large sums of money and
anything else good friend James “Mac” Mackreides (Cliff Curtis)
and Dr. Minway Zhang (Winston Chao) can offer to board high-tech
research vessel Mana One, owned by billionaire Jack Morris (Rainn
Wilson). That is, until he’s told his ex-wife Lori (Jessica
McNamée) is there and that they are exploring the Marianna’s
Trench.
Upon arrival, Jonas
is examined by Dr. Heller (Robert Taylor) who grudgingly gives him a
clean bill of health (physically, not mentally) and he and Jonas
exchange stink-eyes. Zhang and his daughter Suyin (Bingbing Li)
believe that the “bottom” of the trench is not the farthest depth
but a thermocline cloud leading to who-knows-where and Lori, along
with Toshi (Masi Oka) and The Wall (Olafur Darri Ólafsson) are in a
super-duper submersible exploring it. And, of course, they’re
attacked by something huge.
Mac posits it could
be Megalodon (thought extinct for millions of years) and suggests
Jonas should go down to rescue Lori. He hesitates and Suyin beats him
to it. But she’s attacked by a smaller cousin of the squid
from 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea (1954), except for
the fact that this one doesn’t look fake. She’s saved by
Megalodon who’s in the mood for calamari, but now she’s the side
dish. Jonas gets there in time to distract the immense shark, order
Suyin to blow her tanks and rise to the surface and save Lori and The
Wall. Toshi plays the hero one more time and is shark food.
That should have
been the end of it, but while Suyin’s daughter Meiying is playing
with her remote control ball in the circle of underwater tubes, The
Meg appears to be watching her. Then it suddenly clamps its jaws onto
the side of the tube and leaves teeth marks, successfully freaking
out the child. “There’s a monster out there and he’s watching
us.” It seems that everything would be alright if they just hadn’t
penetrated the ultra-cold thermocline. It made a hole that several
creatures could escape through and now Megalodon is free to roam the
entire ocean.
Morris wants it
killed, Suyin wants it caught to be studied, and it’s up to Jonas
and computer nerd Jaxx Herd (Ruby Rose) to save everyone. Page
Kennedy does a great job playing the hysterical DJ who might, per
Samuel L. Jackson in Deep Blue, “be the first one who
gets killed…” But he doesn’t. Aside from his over the top
acting, no one else is noticeable. The star of this movie is the CGI
shark who occasionally mimics Bruce from Jaws by
snapping repeatedly at Jonas while he’s being reeled back onto the
boat.
There are a few
scenes that make the audience jump and a few tense moments and close
calls. Suyin is in an “Unbreakable” Lucite-like shark cage. She
looks left and right and all around herself but never down. The
audience knows that’s where the shark will attack from. We’ve
seen all the movies. And then, when it does, my favorite lines are
spoken; Jaxx: “The (shark) cage won’t break.” Suyin: “That’s
the problem. It’s being swallowed!” Hilarious! Thank goodness
there’s no hint of a sequel, but then no one
thought Sharknado or Sharktopus would
have one either.
Rating: 2 out of
5 martini glasses.
Barleycorn
23 Park Place,
New York
John Barleycorn, a
personification of barley itself and the whisky (or beers) made from
it, is an appropriate name for a pub that touts seventy-two
international beers to its stock, including Schöfferhofer Grapefruit
from Germany and Five Boroughs Gose from New York. I’ve passed by
the rather garish yellow and red columned façade many times going
somewhere else and, now that the scaffolding has finally been
removed, I decided to try it.
The interior is a
full block long with dark wood paneling and floors as far as the eye
can see, and an impressive columned bar in the center. Large wrought
iron chandeliers compete with antique lampstands for the lighting
while red and gold glass votive candles grace the dark wood tables
laid with gray checkered placemats.
Though I admired the
beer selection, I wasn’t in the mood for one. Upon learning that
they did not have Beefeaters I ordered a Stolichnaya martini to my
specifications. Usually when I do this the drink I’m served is
lacking in some way. Not this time. The martini was every bit as
respectable as if it were made from gin.
While reading the
menu I wondered about the portions. When my server asked if he could
“start me off with something” I chose the Grilled Lamb Lollipops
with cucumber tzatziki: four baby lamb chops grilled crispy, but
tender and juicy inside that one could pick up and dip into the
creamy Greek tzatziki, which was also good. I couldn’t help but
notice that all of the items listed as appetizers were finger food.
I asked my server
which was more popular, the Fried Pickles with ranch dressing or the
Pretzel Nuggets with mustard and cheese dips. He gave a thumbs up to
the pretzels and I ordered it. It was a large plate overflowing with
thick, soft, slightly salted, one-inch pretzels with two ramekins of
dip. They were excellent and there was definitely a lot of them. Even
eating them slowly was starting to fill me up.
I was considering
yet another dish, but the fact that I was losing my appetite with the
pretzels made me choose to go straight for the dessert. The Blueberry
Cheesecake with a scoop of French vanilla ice cream, whipped cream
and sliced strawberries was exactly what I wanted.
I finished off with
a regular coffee and, in deference to the large stock of whiskeys I
chose a Laphroaig 10 as my after-dinner drink. Both were totally
adequate.
Barleycorn is an
attractive place and I may just return for the Fried Pickles and
Chicken Curry some evening when I have a larger appetite.
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