On TV
By Jack Webster
By Jack Webster
MasterChef
Junior (Fox
Network, 2013-Present) –
Cast: Joe Bastianich, Graham Elliot, & Gordon Ramsay.
I
admit it. I’m a sucker for reality shows. Yeah, I know they’re
not real, but there’s still something fascinating about them that
makes it near impossible for me to turn away.
Right
now one of my current favorites is MasterChef Junior. The
last season wrapped up December 16, and this eight-episode season's finale is February 24. The show, as you already know, is a spinoff
of MasterChef; only the contestants are kids from ages 8
to 13. And, of course, they’re all cute and such, as they interact
with Gordon, Graham and Joe (who is leaving the show). Actually, I’m
not used to Gordon speaking without dropping f-bombs all over the
place, so for me this is something out of Fantasy Land.
The
show also appears to be some thing that can play on Nickelodeon, with
the hosts resembling kiddie show hosts. Last season, in a
pancake-cooking contest, the winners were allowed to pour huge vats
of syrup on the hosts, and this season all got to hit the hosts with
lemon meringue pies. To me, the real contest seem to be who can be
cuter, the kids or the hosts.
But
one important distinction between this show and the
adult MasterChef is that while the contestants
on MasterChef are a mean and bitchy lot, rooting on
camera for the others to fall on their faces, the kids on the junior
edition are nice and supportive of each other. They’re still
competitive, of course, but this is a gentler, kinder version.
I’m
also amazed at how well some of them can cook, and skeptical, also.
When I was their age, I was lucky if I could make a peanut-and-jelly
sandwich. These kids can cook steak several different ways, break
down a salmon, and use technologically advanced equipment. Who has
liquid nitrogen just hanging around in the kitchen? I find it hard to
believe that 11- and 12-year olds can cook the salmon he just broke
down using advanced methods and add two or three side dishes within
an hour time limit. There was this one kid last season who was using
sriracha foam. At his age, he should be playing with his Mr.
Destructo junior chemistry set and blowing the neighborhood to
smithereens. I noticed on one episode with a cupcake-making challenge
that they were clearly pouring pre-measured amounts of flour and
other ingredients into the bowls.
Another
thing that raises flags is how well spoken these kids are at their
age. Here are some of the quotes I wrote down during last season:
“I
think my palate’s pretty awesome.”
“I’m
a little jealous I’m not in the top three (of one challenge). I
felt like my dish was really going to be the thing to propel me to
great heights.”
“This
sense of euphoria and relief passes over me because I have redeemed
myself and I’m going to be taken a lot more seriously now.”
And
here’s the capper: When Gordon questions one of the contestants as
to what he’s making, he replies, “It’s a five-spice marinated
chicken wings with some lemongrass and cilantro rice, pickled
vegetables, and sriracha foam.” Gordon is perplexed, “Why foam?”
“Because I think it adds some textural interest to the plate.”
(Textural? I had to ask my uncle what that meant. I still don’t
know how it applies to his dish.) Gordon then asks, “Have you
thought about reining it in a little bit and focusing on one or two
things as opposed to five things?” To which our young contestant
answers, “I think there’s enough brain capacity now to get
everything done.”
These
comments are not just precocious, but too precocious for kids their
age. I think adults wrote these, especially when the show cuts away
to a contestant, and the kids read them off cue cards. Some have
written that the kids are actually actors chosen to pretend to cook,
but I don’t believe that; it’s too easy to check out. I do think
they take the more outgoing kids and focus on them.
Supposedly,
the father of one of the contestants on the Australian version blew
the whistle on how the show is done. Of course, he cannot be
identified because of the confidentiality agreement he signed
(suspicious), but he said that while the kiddies were talented, their
skills were sharpened prior to the dishes being prepared. He also
added that some of the contestants took professional cooking and
acting lessons before the show started. He admitted he hired a
private chef for three days a week over six weeks to teach his kid.
The kids were informed in advance what they would be cooking, so that
while the kids look surprised, they’ve all had the recipes for
weeks beforehand. While everything looks spontaneous, the reality is
that the kids have cooked their dishes over 50 times.
Food
for thought –
no
pun intended. But do we reality show junkies really care? Do those
who tune in care? No, we’re just interested in the contest. It’s
like professional wrestling: we know it’s fixed, but the fun is in
watching it take place.
Besides,
the kids are cute.
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